Angel White

错了

2012-01-15T00:29:00.002+08:00

Sometimes i just want to know what is the right thing to do, right thing to say....
But in life, there is just no such thing as correct.

Yet, this time, I know I am wrong. Very wrong. Big mistake.

I shouldn't have press "send".
I shouldn't even have thought about sending it.
I shouldn't even have thought about it.
I shouldn't have felt that way.

Shouldn't but i did.

I'm so sorry.

I know i didnt physically do anything but i think this is worse.
In fact, this could be a big step/the first step towards making a terrible mistake.
Feeling such emotions.

seems like such things dont disappear as you age.
i remember telling Cherilyn tt i miss this "thumping of heart, swirling of mind, shortness of breath".
I shouldn't have missed you.

Why am I still so reckless... so careless.. so mindless...

I just wish I knew what to do...

God, please give me a sign.

deliria.

2011-12-23T17:13:00.006+08:00

"Most things, even the greatest movements on earth, have their beginnings in something small.
An earthquake that shatteres a city might begin with a tremor, a tremble, a breath.
Music begins with a vibration.
The flood that rushed into Portland twenty years ago after nearly two months of straight rain,
that hurtled up beyond the labs and damaged more than a thousand houses, swept up tires and trash bags and old, smelly shoes and floated them through the streets like prizes,
that left a thin film of green mold behind, a stench of rotting and decay that didnt go away for months,
begin with a trickle of water, no wider than a finger, lapping up onto the docks.

And God created the whole universe from an atom no bigger than a thought."

- Delirium, Lauren Oliver.

那些年

2011-12-17T16:06:00.002+08:00

很久以前，我做了一个梦。
因为真的过了太久了，梦的内容都忘了，只记得你说你要和我在一起。
那时，我开心极了。
然后，就醒了。

之前，我只是觉得你这个朋友很关心我。
之前，对我而言，你很体贴，很感性，但也很容易受伤。
而之前，我只知道你会保护我。所以，我也想要保护你。

梦醒后，发现喜欢你的那颗心也被唤醒了。

可是，你是否也一样呢？
其实，我宁可不知道。
从此，我就远远的守候了。

真没想到，人长越大，话题却越少。
不知道是我太怕自己流露出自己的多情还是你真的太冷漠
我们的交流就停在敷衍的嘘寒问暖。

不知你察觉了吗？
真的不知道该说什么好
把我的感情全部抛到海里也好，火化了也好，
只想像当年两的好朋友一样无拘无束的畅聊个痛快。

好想回到那些年
那些年我不爱你的那些年。

又梦见你了

2011-11-12T11:06:00.004+08:00

昨夜梦见你梦中的你依然忧郁
我好像在梦里告诉你我有多么爱你
你是否一样梦到了同样的梦境
也许你就想起那些我们共同的回忆

幻想过未来的日子
你说过要永远和我在一起
这些话我一直都藏在心里
想你时就拿出回忆

如果这是爱请相信那一天的雨
是我想念你
忘记了时间也不愿忘记你
最美的感动从不曾忘记

电话那边

2011-10-26T02:18:00.002+08:00

每天能听到你的声音
就已经很温暖很幸福了

人与人之间沟通真的很重要

during CS8100 today, our lecturer was discussing about effective communication in romantic relationships.
Indeed, everyone will agree that love is fundamental to any long-lasting relationship. But besides love, many other factors are as important as well.
Respect, encouragement, understanding..
More importantly, accepting differences and learning to find humor even in the darkest/roughest times.

These were so true that i found myself relating them to incidents that happened between me and bbq.
It made me wanna hug him(bbq) at that moment..

Someone once asked me how i managed to maintain such a long relationship w bbq.
TO which, i answered, he calls me everyday and we never run out of things to say..
sometimes, we just talk about silly incidents or sa jiao to each other randomly..

Im just glad tt i have him...
because he puts a smile in my dreams:D

Agape Agape Agape~
Selfless Love..
I wonder if i could ever give that to bbq..

New light.

2011-09-25T01:09:00.002+08:00

The recent turn of events have made me realised that i was such a fool in turning him away whenever I have the feeling that we won't make it.

I should have realised it earlier.
He was and is the only one who is with me no matter what happens.
How could i have even thought of letting him go, thinking i'll lead a better life with just my family and friends.
Afterall, he was the only who cared.
He was the only one who keep persistently coming back no matter how many times i tried pushing him away.
He was the one who,despite all the mean things i said, still stuck by me when i need help the most.

I guess the only thing that last forever is family.
And perhaps one day he will be.
Whereas for others, no matter what title u entitle them to, it wont make a difference.
It may make your life a shade more colourful than others..
but time will come when u realise friends could only do this much.

i am glad i still have him amidst everything.
i love you.

but still, sucks to have realised that only now..
too naive.

Rhythm of Love♥

2011-08-19T23:52:00.004+08:00

My head is stuck in the clouds
She begs me to come down
Says "Boy quit foolin' around"
I told her "I love the view from up here
Warm sun and wind in my ear
We'll watch the world from above
As it turns to the rhythm of love"

We may only have tonight
But till the morning sun you're mine all mine
Play the Music low and swing to the rhythm of love

My heart beats like a drum
A guitar string to the strum
A beautiful song should be sung
She's got blue eyes deep like the sea
That roll back when she's laughing at me
She rises up like the tide
The moment her lips meet mine

We may only have tonight
But till the morning sun you're mine all mine
Play the Music low
And swing to the rhythm of love

When the moon is low
We can dance in slow motion
And all your tears will subside
All your tears will dry

And long after I've gone
You'll still be humming along
And I will keep you in my mind
The way you make love so fine

We may only have tonight
But till the morning sun you're mine all mine
Play the music low and swing to the rhythm of love

starry starry night.

2011-08-06T01:49:00.007+08:00

leave behind yesterday's sorrow.
forget about tomorrow.

right now, right this moment,
I think I am happy.
Happy because I'm with you.

Over time, life taught me there are somethings that just can't be predicted.
The best you can do is to savour the moment and live it to the fullest.

So, Thank you for being you. Thank you accepting my many flaws.
Thank you for loving me despite everything i did.

Even if we have to part tomorrow, dont regret.
Don't try to look ahead or look back.
Just stay with me through this long lonely night.
May the stars be our only light,
may the star-crossed lovers in the sky
bless us to hold each other tight.. forever.

happy QIXI festival.
i miss you.

幸福。三个字

2011-07-17T23:58:00.004+08:00

下午和你发短讯聊天
聊着不小心睡着了

晚上电话里的你问：＂下午怎么不理我呀＂
我答：＂困了就睡着了＂
＂哇幸福啊..＂
＂你不希望我幸福吗？＂
＂当然希望啊。＂
＂我也想要你幸福。＂
＂那就嫁给我吧。＂

＂什么？＂
＂嫁给我。＂

虽然答不出
但心里却很清楚。
你是知道的 :)
呵呵

暖暖的

2011-07-13T01:35:00.002+08:00

就如清晨的第一道阳光
就如下雨天一碗热盆盆的泡面

就如冻着时紧紧握住我的那双手
就是失眠时电话那头轻轻的声音

就是心里寂寞时想着你的感觉

虽然还是十分思念
虽然还是感到孤独
虽然你不一定时时刻刻在我身边
但想到你时就暖暖的

好像把你抱紧 XD

旧爱

2011-07-07T21:39:00.004+08:00

是我平时把自己想得太幸福了
还是我现在想太多了

可也别怪我想太多了
这些日子里我真的完完全全的信任和相信你
却太没防备之心了。

我想我们每个人心中都有一个自己放不下的人
你也不例外
或许我太幼稚太单纯了
才会感到这么受伤
毕竟我真的以为你忘掉她了。

其实也没什么大不了的
我也会偶尔回味往事
只是，不像你，我没有让你发现。

没事，只是顿时有点不知所措
不过会好的。

summer nights.

2011-06-30T22:28:00.003+08:00

I wished i could rewind back to the days in HK and shanghai, even though i was dying to get back to singapore when i was there.
Some people are just ridiculous.
i think i am one of them.

I missed singapore's cleanliness and serenity when i was back in china.
i missed my twin and friends.
and i missed him. every bit.

but when i got back, i kinda wished singapore a bit more like HK..and china..
I wish it wasnt so small; i didnt felt so trapped(physically) back in china.
I wish there were places i could explore..like i could drive in a rented car for two hours or more and end up in a small village which i've never been to.. or a forest edge.. or a bottom or a hill.. or a deserted seaside..

Somewhere i could escape to when im facing.. such HORRIBLE RESULTS!!!!!

T.T

ok, i admit that i did not even try half of my best in the finals..
but i didnt felt tt i did THAT badly..

BBQ asked me if he was hindering me in my studies.
i didnt know what to answer.
I mean, yes i think of him a lot when he's not around me.
But when he is around me, i could hardly focus on work at all.
SO its best he stayed away from me when im studying.. but then again, its not his fault my mind strays most of the time im studying.

this sucks.

there are still 6 more exams for me to pull myself up.
but with each try, it gets harder.
i just hope i dont end up with a PASS in the end. that would just make abandoning arch look stupid.
i could probably earn more with a arch masters than a bach in eng.
AND enjoy what i do at the same time.

phew.. how time flies. its july tmr..
what the hell happened in the past one month?
i think the most accomplished thing i have done would be my eyelids.
haha im proud of myself for plucking up the courage and getting what i want.
heehee..

im also very glad it did not turn out badly=D

i just hope i did better for my exams=(

time to buck up study hard and yes... most imptly, slim down=D

JIAYOU~~~~~~~~~~

last page to paradise

2011-05-17T20:19:00.003+08:00

tmr marks the last paper of year 1 in my uni life!
and its life sciences a.k.a BIOLOGY.
brrrr...

i guess i just have to 咬紧牙根熬过去吧！
i wish everyone taking tmr's paper all the best~

& i CANT WAIT FOR WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!!!~~

SHOPPING/CRAB dinner/CLUBBING W LiAn Valerie Jason BBQ~~~~~~
YAYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hahaha~~

and maybe outing w bei?memy?qiao?xiaoyu?

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST..... HONGKONG SHANGHAI TRIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

JIA YOU~!!!

i love you BBQ!

Destiny.

2011-04-25T01:20:00.002+08:00

I am convinced you are the one..
the best i can ever find..
but what wil you do to stay with me?

and what will others/fate do to tear us apart?

If only we could escape to a place where no one could find us..

It is you I have loved all along.

2011-04-25T01:15:00.003+08:00

There is something that I see
In the way you look at me
There's a smile, there's a truth in your eyes

But an unexpected way
On this unexpected day
Could it mean this is where I belong
It is you I have loved all along

It's no more mystery
It is finally clear to me
You're the home my heart searched for so long
And it is you I have loved all along

And I am filled
With the sweetest devotion
As I, I look into your perfect face

It's no more mystery
It is finally clear to me
You're the home my heart searched for so long
And it is you I have loved
All along.

dance in the dark

2011-04-20T15:53:00.006+08:00

dont know where im heading
dont know what tomorrow might bring
dont know if we'll be happily ever after

dont know if i'll pass physics...
or maths.

but that's okay.
dont really care what others say;)
all i need is now,
to do the things i want.
this is the moment...
and im too tired to care about anything else.

X)

快乐。

2011-04-10T23:11:00.004+08:00

如果，他的快乐不是因为你，而是因为另一个她..那么，你会快乐吗？

那天你和我那个山丘那样的唱着那一年的歌
那样的回忆那么足够足够我天天都品尝着寂寞

是不是喜欢一个人以后，心里就永远留有他的烙印呢..
那么爱情..好可怕。

如果你快乐不是为我会不会放手其实才是拥有

已经不知道要怎么办了
说到底伤心是难免的

终于发现自己很糟糕很混乱
伤害了他不但没有内疚或心碎
反而为了他而心痛。

天理何在。

我也只想快乐
很难吗？

warmth.

2011-04-05T01:02:00.003+08:00

the best part of me is always you:D
& you leave a sweet residue in my heart all the time, love.

傻瓜♥

2011-02-13T23:09:00.000+08:00

[A crazy little thing called LOVE]。

每个人看完了这部电影后，是不是都一样，
脑海里都会浮现着莫一个人 --- 莫一个熟悉而陌生的面孔。
是不是每一个人都一样，心里都会不自觉地隐隐地作痛，嘴角却忍不住慢慢地上扬。。
同时想起那时的自己，那时的莫一个他，那面帅气开朗的脸孔。

对了，他那张俊俏又带孩子气的脸上眨着一双水亮深邃的眼蒙。。
浓浓的眉心和笔挺的鼻子。。
还有那古铜色皮肤，好像会发光似的。

不管他去到哪里，都带有光环。
不管在哪里看到他，心都会像小鹿乱撞，不停地狂跳，听不下来。
不管是什么时刻，走到哪里，脑海里总会想着他。
想起时，胸口便会甜滋滋的痛。

因为这些事都是他不知道的事。

回想起当时的他和当时的你，总觉得那样傻傻地单恋着，也是一种快乐，美丽。。
现在，已经有点遗忘那种感觉，那强烈的心跳，晕眩的滋味。
真是的爱情，原来往往比较安稳，踏实。

看着面前的他，心跳没有加速，也没有头晕目眩，
而是淡淡的甜蜜，欣慰的微笑。
心里有种暖洋洋的感觉。。

那都是爱。。
对吧？
♥

o' the days have gone.

2011-02-09T13:14:00.006+08:00

A picture often depicst a thousend words..
but i think there is more to that.

Browsing through old photographs not only revives those dust-riddened memories but also rekindles a desire for things to be the way they were.
At least that is true for me.
Especially those photos of the more distant past..

I wouldnt say i wasn contented with what i have now..
but as i look at the you in the past.. we seemed so much happier. well, you did=)
im not sure if it is true.. but things were less complicated.

I do enjoy discovering and learning new things about life because it makes me wonder what more have not come to my knowledge yet.
still, the past do hold a certain element of innocence that i've always yearned for.
o' those were the days, i enjoy saying. haha

so much for a photograph.
so much for those beautiful memories.

oh well, we were once very happy.
& that's all there was for us.

time will come again in future when i look back at the present now.. and feel the same sense of remorse of the lost innocence/happiness/friendship..
but time never waits.. or hastens its pace..
moving on is something i should be used to by now. i hope:)

=)things change..
but not the memories..even as they fade.

告别十九岁的妳。

2011-01-08T01:40:00.004+08:00

虽然稍微有点迟，
但是还是赶得上生日哈哈

之前有许多的埋怨，及不舍，
不想就这样步入二十。

可现在看清楚了，
二十，虽然是一个新的开始，
但是也不完全与十九岁相差很远。。

前几天我一直在追看一部日本电视剧《十四岁的母亲》，
不知为何感触良多。
这也渐渐让我领悟了二十岁对我所代表的意义。

二十岁了，
心胸要宽阔，勇于接受不同的人以及他们所给予的看法。
要懂得体谅，多一份慈悲的心，少一份嫉妒小气的脾气。

二十岁了，
虽然责任多了，负担多了，
但那正是成长的过程，证明我长大了。
崇荣地接受这些责任，其实可以很爽快。
突然觉得这样使自己显得更重要。在社会上更有价值。

对于他，要更加谅解，疼爱，偶尔让他不必当恋人，休息休息当皇帝。哈哈！
对于朋友，要明白大家都有自己的理想，自己的天空，自己的去向，好好保护友情。
对于家人，尤其是父母，要更加孝顺，多做家务事也是应该的。
对于学业，要以成人的wisdom，少年的冲劲去面对。

对于自己，要更加爱惜，保护。
凡事多看开点。
多多体谅。。
少点埋怨哈哈

但是在他面前，撒撒娇时一定要的。

我二十岁了! 那是一份多么让人期待而兴奋的事啊~
今年的愿望很简单:家人他健健康康幸福就好。自己也要幸福。大家都幸福！

告别了十九岁。。
告别了teenage years.
转眼间，就过了七年。。
希望自己更成熟的待人处事

加油！加油！

catch you when you fall:)

2010-12-23T16:18:00.005+08:00

the dreaded mid terms have finally come to an end, well several days ago, and so has the long draggy semester 1.

i know this is a bit late BUT its never really too late to celebrate!!!=)
(actually i've alr celebrated w li an val and bei.. so...)

ANYWAY, my take on uni life is: it would be more fun if i learnt o participate more actively in CCAs or Hall activities. I would have made more friends, felt more occupied and do a lot more things other than shopping and tuition XD

However, given my currently deteriorating personality which made me unusually anti-social, i think a "funner" uni life would be out of the question.

In fact, im quite happy with the way it is now=)

A big hug to my dearest roomie a.k.a my dearest TWIN who had to withstand all my nonsense and shitty mood swings:P another hug for being there for me no matter what happens or what it is=)
A big hug to my neighour Miss cant 11 for always being there whether it is lessons or groceries shopping time or gossip time XD
A big hug to my parents who did not pester me with calls everyday despite the fact that they do miss me.Another big hug for preparing nice eals for me when i return home=D
A big hug to my dearest boyfriend for having to withstand my crappy calls, my silly tantrums and yes the annoying moodswings.a kiss too, for being there for me even though you are super exhausted yourself. i love you.

Im happy i have so many kind souls in my life.

although once in a while an irritating one may pop out out of no where.
like THE KOFF a.k.a PROTANE XDDD
and the frenzied fan club.

i hope i meet ~~smarter~~ more logical people next sem=D

here are some photos taken with my lousy phone cam:

I'm kinda looking forward to the start of a new school term actually.

BUT FIRST, XMAS, NEW YEAR & MOI BIRTHDAY!!!!

我想要的那片天空

2010-12-01T21:53:00.002+08:00

它就握在你手里。。
倒影在你眼里。。
拥在你怀里。。
印在你心里♥

In your arms i'd like to stay.

2010-11-27T14:27:00.002+08:00

Cause it's the only place i feel safe.. and wanted.

i feel your heart beat, the pulse in your veins.

i feel your warmth, your breath against my neck.
i feel your strength, in your arms wrapped around me.

& i feel your love when you squeeze me tight.

it makes me strong again.

P.S. I Love You. So Much.

纯真。还存在吗？

2010-11-20T23:45:00.003+08:00

i dont usually post complete songs lyrics here.. but Mayday is truly amazing.
everytime i listen to this song,
the lyrics and melody resounds in my ears for days..

its so depressing yet so beautifully crafted..

it seems so innocently melodious
yet every sentence seems to be mocking me
reminding me how it hurts so much..

长长的路上我想我们是朋友
如果有期待我想最好是不说

你总是微笑的你总是不开口
世界被你掌握

月亮绕地球地球绕着太阳走
我以为世界是座宁静的宇宙

今晚的天空有一颗流星划过
在预言着什么

在无声之中你拉起了我的手
我怎么感觉整个黑夜在震动

耳朵里我听到了心跳的节奏

星星在闪烁
你会怎么说

你心中一定有座浓雾的湖泊
任凭月光再皎洁照也照不透

你眼中闪烁湖面
无边的温柔

那波光在诱惑

你已经有他就不应该再有我
世界的纯真此刻为你有迷惑

我想我应该轻轻放开你的手

我却没有力气
这么做

...

BABY♥

2010-11-06T19:19:00.004+08:00

You make me
feel like I'm living a teenage dream

The way you turn me on,
I can't sleep

Let's runaway and don't ever look back,
don't ever look back

♥My heart stops when you look at me♥
♥Just one touch now baby I believe♥

This is real so take a chance and don't ever look back,
don't ever look back

We drove to Cali, and got drunk on the beach
Got a motel and built a floor out of sheets

I finally found you, my missing puzzle piece

♥I'm complete♥

.

bottles of tears&heartache.

2010-11-05T23:16:00.004+08:00

so painful tt i suddenly ran out of words.
so tired tt i suddenly felt like i couldnt breath.

why was talking to you suddenly a chore.

i dno what to say.
or what to do.

please let the world stop spinning.
just for a while.

out of my mind.

2010-11-05T01:54:00.002+08:00

The crazy things we do,
the silly giddiness we get..
when we are drunk on highness~~~

just let everything freeze at that moment.

我爱你。

2010-11-03T01:09:00.003+08:00

让我听你的疲惫和恐惧~

我想你
真的好想你

但只能期待每晚听到你的声音和呼吸。。
你也想我对吗:)

祈祷。

2010-11-01T20:29:00.002+08:00

Get Well Soon Selina...

Be that beautiful bride you were meant to be all along.
May God be with you.

starry eye.

2010-10-31T19:00:00.002+08:00

没有星星的夜里

我把泪光留给你。

给自己设下的陷阱。

2010-10-31T00:21:00.004+08:00

给自己挖下了坟墓
为什么还是感觉这么幸福。

what's wrong with me.

2010-10-27T01:21:00.003+08:00

有些心情不明白
不能于你分享

有些想法很矛盾
明明是自找的心痛

为什么会因此难过失落

我搞不懂我怎么了。

怎么了。

2010-10-26T21:49:00.002+08:00

如果我们继续向前走进雨里面

会不会有溶解的危险。。

冻结。眼泪

2010-10-25T17:23:00.003+08:00

你给的冷天气让人窒息

你给的温度
又让人无法哭泣

泪滴
它就僵冻在眼角。

你是否看见了？

first bite.

2010-10-24T23:40:00.002+08:00

Soak up all the sweetness~!

&BE HAPPY TOGETHER, 4EVA♥

twin supports U!!!

morning, sunshine.

2010-10-24T18:16:00.004+08:00

time to wake up! :D

wake up~ wake up~ wake up~ wake..wake up~~

LOL!

The guilt.

2010-10-22T22:55:00.005+08:00

&the thrill...

and the guilt.

THE SIN.

你够贱。你够狠。

2010-10-21T23:55:00.004+08:00

不知道你是什么企图
但是你赢了

我服输

我的痛被你说中了。

逃避。。。

2010-10-21T12:52:00.002+08:00

不是想逃脱。。

只是须要时间安抚心情，
平常心面对。

为何

2010-10-20T22:46:00.004+08:00

人累了，就睡吧。
心累了呢。。

会碎吗？

THE ONE.

2010-10-19T00:20:00.002+08:00

sorry if i had ever question our love for even a split second..
because i should know..

for me, there's only you♥

I'm yours.

2010-10-10T01:55:00.002+08:00

&You had me at "你很烦人，但是我喜欢."

XD bliss

然后呢。

2010-09-30T23:41:00.005+08:00

时光是琥珀泪一滴滴被反锁

情书再不朽也磨成沙漏

青春的上游白云飞走苍狗与海鸥

闪过的念头潺潺的溜走

命运好幽默让爱的人都沉默

一整个宇宙换一颗红豆

回忆如困兽寂寞太久而渐渐温柔

放开了拳头反而更自由

the future is just too unpredictable..
why cant someone just help me make all the decisions in my life..
LOL...

whatever happens, i hope it will be a positive outcome for both of us..
hehehe~ going shopping with twin tmr!~~~
something to lighten my mood hahaha

anyway thanks to twin i dont have to be awkward today! i will treat you to something nie tmr!!!=D

i hope i find something nice and meaningful for him.
actually, i just hope to get to celebrate his bday with him..
and he gets to celebrate my bday for mi...

..
I'm sticking with you...
cuz I'm made out of glue...

P.S. I LOVE YOU.

Hang In There Baby

2010-09-12T11:18:00.005+08:00

I dont know if everyone else feels this way..
but i believe most people are like me, lost in a blur of unfamiliar
faces/architectures/traditions..

it is like hanging from a thin thread, like the uneasy feeling you get not knowing where or when you will land..i just wish to have my feet back on the ground DX

BBq says i lacked confidence, i kinda agreed... T.T
&Especialy after ytd's tackle with desperate internal-struggle ,while trying to keep up a friendly facade, I begin to question if i am really somewhat anti-social in one way or another.
or maybe we just dont click...so much so that i dreaded going out (w them)...

alright...
this is just another hurdle i have to cross evenually..
but thanks for being here with me=)

梦是远远飞翔
你就是我左半边翅膀
天空再大再远和你并肩
我也勇敢闯
梦是远远飞翔
你就是我左半边翅膀
感觉不到你的呼吸的心跳和我一起
我宁愿不要飞翔

Close your eyes.gimmeyourhand

2010-09-04T17:29:00.005+08:00

it seems inevitable for me to feel lost from time to time..
especially when facing the unknowns...such as...uni... T.T
hais..
i just hope everything will be okay...

and i really hope that some things will stay the same..or be even better over time:)

zzz...i so so so so so so so just wanna hold your hand and heck the world DX

jyjy!~

all summer long♥

2010-08-29T17:22:00.011+08:00

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

I'm almost done packing and hence have nothing much to do now.
BOOOO...and with a blink(or many blinks) of an eye.. my long holiday is GONE.
soooo fast man!!!!

tsk.. as i recall what have i done for the past few months, sad to say, i couldnt name a lot. Others have gone on many trips to different countries around the world but i have not. Some perhaps took up interesting classes such as Guitar lessons etc, but i didnt. Most people took up a job or two, well, i tried but didnt make it past two months LOL. All i did was.. tuitioning and learning driving...

&perhaps being with him.♥

Although i am still quite pissed at my parents for not letting visit korea with twin&christina, i cant really say that my holidays were spent meaninglessly lahh..

Im not sure how to say this, but i feel that whatever happened during this long long holiday, it happened for a reason and im glad♥
Some memories stood out more clearly than others..but those happy times we spent together will be something i'll never forget.

XD i♥the carefree and warm fuzzy feeling i get... as we did things tgt hand in hand...like visiting random places in sg...listening to random songs..shopping for random groceries(like old auntie and uncle)...cuddling in the freezing cold cinema theatres...getting lost in god-knows-where...or simply just lying around watching stupid old movies..&of course there were the times we fought...the times he disappointed me..the times we decided not to talk to each other anymore..and hais...sian this reminds me of Lily Allen's Littlest Things.. LOL

And yet i still felt we did not have enough time for one another..when i have all the time in the world...it never seemed enough..
time flies when we are together:(
sucks.

hmmm.. i wonder what would happen after school reopens and everything kicks in..
=(

HAISHHHHHH~~~
Nothing will be the same anymore..

XY you must 打起精神!(the result of watching too many korean dramas)
JIA YOU!

jia you~to both you and me...

ok and to everyone who is starting school..
(ignoring those who have already started)

LOL

♥hope these memories will last me all my life..
cos they were beautiful.. in every way♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Can't Help It ♥

2010-08-26T23:38:00.005+08:00

it's pretty amazing that i have not blogged for two months straight when sooo many things happened within this period of time=O

twin suggested that i should start blogging eventhough she's probably the only one who ever read it LOL

hmm..today was a fairly interesting and sweet day hahaha~
i know quite a handful of ppl who will go *tsk* or *wth?* when they hear tt i went out w BBQ again..
mmmm.....ok la i understand ppl's reaction but please let me explain myself too...
the reason nobody Kan Hao us was because i never really expose much about what goes on btwn us or what we do during our time spent tgt (or more like what he really did for me) but i have come to realise that i am not the type to talk much about it leh.
Dont see the point maybe=P

SO... ya lorh, he's special in his own ways, and although he can be annoyingly insensitive at times, there's so much more to him sometimes i can afford to overlook his flaws. besides, im seeing improvements :PPP heh~

ANYWAY~ we visited JP today after having lunch at the sichuan restaurant near my house:D He ordered all meat dishes(WTH) and ALL of them are super duper spicy for goodness sake.... Im still having stomachache-_-

oh wells, we watched The Jade & The Pearl at JP gv... IT WAS SO FUNNY and dumb and lame and ridiculous la~! LOL~ but i must say charlene choi is so freakkinng prreetttyy!! i love her!~ hahaah~ okok... hmmm i think the movie was a beautiful balance of humor and romance=DDDD should definitely watch it IF you have the time=PPP if not, DO catch it on funshion LOL~ will definitely lift ur spirits and brighten your day :D

after the movie, we went to YueHwaGuoHuo or whatever that is called and GUESS WHAT~ I found a cute container that i could bring to hostel to contain random sweets~! LOL~
Had to choose btwn the frog and the teddy bear.. and yes twin, i chose the frog to prevent you from koping too much(AHA!)

HAHA~

so....i guess we were in a random mood to shop as usual... and so we ended up in fairprice xtra...buying er..tangerines-__-.. very random LOL!

ANYWAYS, since BBQ wanted to watch the 730pm [The Expendables], we lingered ard in JP for almost three hours..
there was desserts @ JiDeChi which worsened my stomachache...
&we visited the arcade...which cheated our money(five games for five bucks?)

OHOHOH~ and twin!~ that reminds me~! I SAW 'DAD' AT JP TOO! and he is NOT with 'mum'..but with ANOTHER GUY!! :O TSK TSK~! LOL
I almost ran into him in the arcade but luckily i SHAN-ed in time~

okok... i shall delay no further and im gonna talk about The Expendables.
FIRST, let me briefly tell you about the movie-goers..
THEY ARE MOSTLY ARMY GUYS.
THEY ARE MOSTLY(IF NOT ALL) HAVING SOME SORT OF GUYS OUTING.

Is it BROTHERS DAY or sth today? :S

how come they are out of army and they are mostly BALD?
i thought hair was allowed liao? ok, that's beside the point.

80% of the audience were army guys having guys outing.
i saw them in those big groups near/in the arcade.. i see them again in the theatre.
FORTUNATELY DAD WAS NOT THERE LOL!

THEN, 10mins into the movie, i realised that the army guys had made a right choice while i, on the extreme other hand, DID NOT T.T

IT was LOUD AND BLOODY AND BRAWNY...with all the loud-to-the-max explosions, machine guns tt dismember body parts, moves that resulted in severe head/arm/leg dislocation, flying knives that go slicing into ppl's eyes/ear/head/stomach/chest/leg.....
Basically, the whole point of the movie was to satisfy cravings of violence. the plot was barely agreeable la.. but the whole action movie thingy is not my type..

Well, something commendable about the movie though, was that it has quite some quirky/straightface humor in it which i enjoyed a lot. Arnold Schwarzenegger's appearance totally made everyone LMAO-ed~

ON THE WHOLE, i recommend all guys to watch it. IT is definitely YOUR type of humor...BECAUSE the guys sitting next to me(including BBQ) were laughing throughout the show when i going "OMG WTH EW"... AND their laughter reminded me of sadistic MEHQIAO -__-

As for girls, im sure nobody will watch it given a choice but it is a worthy sacrifice to make if you are watching this w your BF. show him that you can be nice too just like how he sat through all those chickflicks with you. LOL!

HMMM.. on the whole, the two movies were not bad and acceptable la.. definitely not as good as Inception (DUHH) but definitely on par or BETTER than Love in Disguise=)

hahaha~ okok next i wanna watch CATS & DOGS and m night shyamalan's DEVIL.

& WHY nobody want to watch Tang Shan Da DI ZHen with me?

D:

Falling Slowly

2010-06-16T21:13:00.007+08:00

Today's weather was nothing like what a day in summer should be.
It almost never stopped raining.

Im wondering if the chilling sensation deep in my heart was caused by the cold too.
Well, as much as i want to convince myself that was the case, i know its not true.

The weather outside was merely mirroring how i am feeling inside.

+++

It has been months..2 months..since i last posted(as i noticed).
The words that i wrote in the last few posts made me wonder what happened within just 8 weeks of time.
I used to be praying and hoping with everything in the world that he could stop stressing about the future and focus on the present.

I wish i could say the same now.

Things change. People change. And circumstances change, too.
Perhaps every journey must begin with a destination.
Even love cannot move ahead blindly, or it will simply collide into a dead end.

For me, everything started without any cause or reason.
Perhaps he had a destination in mind.. but i guess that was blurred too, over time.

Sometimes i dont understand why we are holding on..because..the future is, not unpredictable, but 99.9% barren of any hope. at all.

"永远是一根长长的丝线系在你我之间"

Except that the thread is extremely flimsy and fragile.

Okay, i hate to admit it.
but im kinda scared. and lost.
thats what usually happen to people(like me) who have nothing much to do at home.
We tend to worry about anything we can find around us.
It could easily be the reason that im acting so emo and whiney right now..
but i guess this is different.

I wish someone could tell me what to do.
i wish he could tell me what to do.

Perhaps the best way is to work it out w him, whether it works or ends.

In two very different ways, I am falling.
falling in love.. and falling in despair..
Hopefully someone throws in a ladder or break either of the vertical descents.

ffffffever..

2010-04-26T18:22:00.004+08:00

I'm bored. At home.

I've taken my medicine plus vitamin c BUT the heat just wont go away!
WHYYYYYYYYY~~~~~

hmph. anyway, no matter what, I've made up my mind to stop tt tuition job after i finish my one month.. Everytime i step into their house, i get a headache.
Well, this time, i got flu and headache which somewhat equates to fever...and yes, it evolved into fever last night.

grrr...
perhaps twin is right.
i have no life now.
I work 8-5pm from mon to fri.
and i teach 5 tuitions during weekends.
Talk about workaholic.

BUT then again... if you have no $$$$, how to get a life???
Okay, even picnicing or window shopping or volunteering at SPCA or a sleepover or whatever is very $$$ consuming now~! YES. because of the stupid bus fares. ^@%&*#%&@!!

HAIX. so yah lorh.. im bored.
& thus the long winded 很没营养的post.

BAH! why isnt she updating!~

easily contented~

2010-04-21T21:09:00.008+08:00

i got my pay for tuitions again~~~~
woots!!~
two more students to collect money from~~ next week~~~ hahahah~

shall save it to my bank acct soon~

hahaha~
although it felt like i almost flunked the stupid interview on purpose by talking about arch. today, i guess im okay now~

LOLS
the moment i mentioned N*S, tt woman's eyebrows went up and gave me the look.
i totally loled~~!

as though anybody will apply for no other unis except SM* lorh..
just tt they arent as idiotic as me.. lols..
hmm..mistake noted XD

tsk. well, i could help blurting out right...
zzz...i mean, compared to NT*, SM* seems so hostile and awkward( TTM!)
LOLS.

wahhahaha~ but with ka-ching in my wallet and love in moi heart..
i am contented for nowwww~~~

hahaha~
looking forward to tmr~ again~
:D

i think im happier with my job now kekeke~
getting used to the busy n slack hours~~

P.S. i just want tt letter from tt sch... be it gd or bad....

P.P.S. twin~~~ we miss your son..... so does auspicious~~ XD

woman

2010-04-11T23:59:00.003+08:00

HAPPY NINETEENTH BIRTHDAY!!!!

&
I ♥ YOU~~~~~~~

hahaha.. sorry for not writing everything in the letter and asking you to refer to it here... but..hohoho...i type faster than i write...
and this thing allows me to set teh posting time to exactly 0000 woots~!!

i know my letters in the past were always long winded and crappy.
sorry to say, my style still remains.
kekeke~

anyway, firstly, i was really very touched during my bday this year!!
(and sry for not turning up for the slpover :X)
never has anyone stayed with me till 2am just a blow my candle w me..
i promise i'll do that with you too~~!!!(next yr :X sorry twin!!!!!)
and yahhhh... the book you made for me!!!! its soooo cute and jing zhi!!!
im not sure how i can match up with it in terms of the amount of work and sweat you put into making it... ITS BETTER THAN AN ARTBOX NOTEBOOK~~
till now i have only written on one page of it.
hahaha~

hmmm, im not sure if my present will be as touching to you as yours were to me..
but i really hope you will find it useful and keep using it~!
hahahah~ i learnt from my lesson last yr.. so this yr... your present is dust proof!!
BAHAHAHAHA~ LOLS

aiya, presents aside..

i cant believe we have only known each other for 4 years..
like you said, its pretty amazing... because it seems like such a long long time~!
lolss... the soh times and spa times.. and ya lor, kekeke rubber throwing times..
i'll nvr forget how u will wait for me after sch and take 61 with me to tuition..
compared to you, i must have been a pretty selfish woman.. haix..
well, qian bian la.. can you stop being so nice(LOL!!! reminds me of the ba quarrel XDDD)

zzz.. while i was always there complaining, you always gave an listening ear.
don't know why but i feel like i can tell you anything..just like you can tell me anything~!
hmmm maybe that's how much i trust you lorh..

haha you were the first to know about BBQ too~~ hahahaha~

AND speaking about that, Im really sorry if there were times where i had been heavy color light friend.. (i know there must be lah)
BUT dont worry, BBQ will never be able to replace my twin de~!
(cuz you two are of diff genres LOL!!!)
aiya.. i hope you find your sour onion and cream soon lorhh..
and then you can heavy color light friend me back XDDD

yups~~

well, if someone wants me to list everything that i feel/thought about you(omg min gan), it can go on till tmr morning LOL. but i guess being twins with you is like the best gift God has ever given me.
I believe each friendship is special and irreplaceable..
and thus should be genuinely treasured.
i also believe that you are the best twin i can ever have(just like a true twin indeed~~!)

i know we'll always be twins in low times and high(LOL) times..
and we shall continue our coded talks be it gun battles, world war, sensitive, snake gang or ba.. or maybe even more to come...
and we shall continue to help each other level up(ok this is random hahahah~)

no matter what, i feel that nobody else in this world(exclude family) knows me better than you do~~ maybe oneday BBQ will be on par with you?
but for now, you are like family, like my true blue twin..
MAY SIWON BE WITH YOU~!

lols.. hope siwon/siwon-look-a-like will find you soon~~
and you can heavy color light twin mi~~~ or we can earn a lot of mullah first and go s.e.o.u.l to find him tgt!!!
Jia yous to us!!!!:Dhahaha~~

LOLS~
ya~~enjoy this special day and YUP WOMAN, YOU ARE ♥ED!!!!!!!!!!!!

with♥,
yun twin~~~

living in her own bubble(made of latex)

2010-04-08T20:03:00.003+08:00

Woots.
and phew.
I did not miss any interview frm arch. although i did missed a lot of anonymous calls(and one was from smu).
wth.

i shall call them first thing in the morning then.

JOB was fun~~~~made twin n i so HIGHHH~~~ hihihihihihi~LOL
i still feel like a noob but it's like back to aji~ hahaha~ without a flower D:
zzz..& i have to revert back speaking standard english again(due to the auditors LOL).

hmmm i do hope i'll get used to the job soon..
haish.. WHY AM I ALWAYS SO TIRED><
my eyes are barely opened now zzz..
even reading 8's blog doesn't help much. tsk.
& auspicious is getting annoyingly spastic.
i feel like slapping her.

Come back to reality!
*a bish*
stop swimming in your own bubble of ***(hint:some yew from yewtee)... LOLS~

(OH. btw i realised that the FB status i posted up ytd sounded like a ba)
Clarification:
I love BBQ(non-gourmet/inedible) as much as auspicious love fish n chips(yes. food.)

&
I bi*ch about auspicious like how auspicious bi*ches about its BFFs~

okay. similarities stops here.

Oh wells, but one thing good(i almost typed god. paiseh.) is that:
auspicious has decided to put others before self so that we can finally see those ppl who were standing behind her. ROFLMAO!

P.S. $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ drawing nearer and nearer but not yet coming. LOLED.
P.P.S. counting down to someone random's bday in 4days & 3.5 hrs.
counting down to mom's bday in 8days & 3.5hrs.

$$$woots!!!

2010-04-06T23:16:00.005+08:00

Oh~~ $$$$$$$ is drawing nearer & nearer(LOL!!)
but BBQ will have to suffer a bit...

Zzz... I will miss him too... But oh wells, I'm sure everything will work out!:)
twin!! It's not as tiring as you think(if u are really in it) LOLS!!

Woohooo~
the tuition agency just called again. They love me.
4 tuitions + 1hospital job = awesome $$$$$$ ~

and when I have enough awesome $$$$...
I will spend it on.. My eyelid surgery, BBQ-time(impt hohoho), korea trip~~ & driving lessons:(

LOL.
Oh... Money money come to me... Quick~~~

P.S I don't think we should sympathize auspicious. It is becoming grossly retarded on fei Si bu Ke now. Again.

keepin' in touch.

2010-04-05T01:15:00.006+08:00

This sat, i went for 4E's picnic outing/celebration of candy's birthday @ marina barage.
ah, sadly though, it was drizzling for the entire afternoon so we camped under the shelter instead =P
kkk~ of course, the image above isnt the rain droplets..
and ya, it was just a pic i took when i went there w BBQ~
woots~

Although cao, dad, bx, twin and i left early that day, i'm really grateful that zx and jolene they all are always damn on about class outing~! i love 4E outings!!~~
hahaha~
i think the next outing could be the celebration of some random person's birthday?
the person who is born eleven days after april's fool... LOL
ok that's really random..

haish.. that reminds me..
i must starting preparing for the ultimate bday present soon..bleah..
LOL XDDD

yuppp and today a.k.a sunday, i met up with jialiu and vidhya N @ plaza sing~
woots~!!
its been SOOOO LLLooooonnggg since i last ate at astons~ OR was it recently?
aiya, i think should be damn long ago liao cuz i cant really recall anythig..
wahahahah~

anyway, tsk to jialiu the mascular pres. & MBA vidya..
why are you guys so persistent about gossiping abt me in front of me..
LOLS.
XDDD
hmph.. my lips are sealed though~~
so u wont get much out of me unless you guys provided some scandal for me to gossip about too.. LOLS~~~

lols.. events like class gatherings and outings with classmates always make me feel old..
but they also remind me about the fun filled times we shared in sch..
the sian times we pulled through tgt..
and.. ahh.. everything~
somehow these happy and interesting memories will neutralise the horrible recollections of those mugging days...
and make them seem like nothing but just a process in life.

friends.. hmm.. they make life less heavy..or serious..
& more endurable~~

P.S. i hope that the auspicious number will realise that "love sought is good, but given unsought is better"-by William Shakespeare.

Great Pals

2010-04-02T21:40:00.005+08:00

Went out with bei today~
its been sooo long since we last went out!!~
ohhh love the ramen, peachie yoghurt, takoyaki & mosshake!!
haha~~ such a wonderful day~~(although i sound like a ba)
i really miss hanging out w you lehhhh...
we must go shopping n camwhore more some other dayss when u r not so busy with tuitions!~~love youuu~

hehe..
then went to qiao's place with bei but didnt stayed long.
kkk~
Sry to qiao, memy, xiaoyu & peng for not staying but i dont think my presence makes a great difference LOL~
not as if 3 que 1~ LOLS XDD
hope to see you all @ bei's dance night~~! XD

AND NOT TO RMB~~
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY DEARED BELOVED DA SHEN~!!!
sorry i dont bai4 you like a shen2...(cuz im not ba)
but i do love you very very much~
your present is with me so dont worry~
i will pass it to you soon darl~~

hehehe
going out with yawn and 4E tmr.. going to marina barrage to picnic and celebrate candy's bday~~~~
whheee~~^^~~
hahah~ should be going to buy food with twin tmr at IMM?
YAYS~

love my twin and godsis and shen(LOL) and friends~~(heavily influenced by ba)
i feel so happy(today)!!!~~
XDD

Haha~
Have been very happy these days.. ^^
im actually happy even by just thinking about certain things regarding certain someones~LOL
hua chi.

^W^
can't wait!!!~~~

P.s i sound like im high on drugs...LOL!

2010-03-31T23:58:00.004+08:00

I am a happy girl~
Contented ^^

Went to Kbox w BBQ today=P
was so entertaining~
and the girl who served us was so HIGH. i totally loled @ her.
haha~
I like singing this song~~
喜欢两个人~

Shall post its lyrics!~ kk kkk~ follow the cow's trend..

"体贴是偶而准你不像情人~~"

wakaka~ And it was so nice to go shopping with twin @ bugis ytd~
bought nice clothes @ cheap prices~~~
woohoo~~
i love the blue one most~
ok, and maybe the pink one too~~
~^^~

LOL.

anyway~ yup we should go shopping BBQ's and your kor's clothes..
I found tt BBQ actually wears L~~~ i shall buy M then XD
hahah~ wheee~

yea but we should buy cheap stuff wahahaha in order to save up for our shop.
We are not materialistic numbers~~~!
LOL.

曲名：喜欢两个人歌手：彭佳慧

没必要回想刚刚下大雨的黄昏
此刻夜空只有美丽的星辰
走过了甜酸各一半的旅程
我单薄的心才能变得丰盛

心会累爱会冷
这是感情必经的过程
只是有人就放弃
也有人愿意再等

等一个发现等一个感动让爱再沸腾
就算很在乎自尊
我们依赖彼此不得不承认

放弃自由喜欢两个人
绑住的两个人
互不相让还是相爱分享一生
不爱热闹喜欢两个人
就我们两个人
在浮动不安世界里找到安稳

有时候关心就是交换一个眼神
抚慰就是暖暖紧紧的拥吻
疼爱是不讲理也让我几分
体贴是偶而准你不像情人

心会累爱会冷
这是感情必经的过程
只是有人就放弃
也有人愿意再等

等一个发现等一个感动让爱再沸腾
就算很在乎自尊
我们依赖彼此不得不承认

放弃自由喜欢两个人
绑住的两个人
互不相让还是相爱分享一生
不爱热闹喜欢两个人
就我们两个人
在浮动不安世界里找到安稳

在浮动不安世界里找到安稳~~~

BAHAHAHAHA~

Senses.

2010-03-30T01:20:00.009+08:00

Came across this sweet Love Poem today..hmm..just felt like sharing it...

I feel your hands in my hair.
I feel your breath on my neck.
I feel your body pressed so close to mine.
I feel your lips on my throat.
I feel your hands move to my back and your lips work their way up to mine.
I feel you and I love it.

I hear you say you love me.
I hear you whisper my name.
I hear you tell me I'm the only one for you.
I hear your breath in my ear.
I hear your soft snores as I fall asleep.
I hear you and I love it.

I see you as I run into your arms.
I see your face break through my world of darkness.
I see you fight away my fears.
I see you wipe away my tears.
I see you're in love with me.
I see you and I love it.

I taste your lips.
I taste your tongue.
I taste your throat as I kiss it.
I taste your love.
I taste your passion.
I taste you and I love it.

I smell your colone as I hold you.
I smell your shampoo as I hug you.
I smell your toothpaste as I kiss you.
I smell your excitement as you cuddle me.
I smell the smell I've been waiting so long to smell.
I smell you and I love it.

I feel you.
I hear you.
I see you.
I taste you.
I smell you.
I do all these things and I love it.

I'm finally with you.
You're finally here.
I love it.
I love you.

I feel like I'm almost gloating at a.n* but dahh~ a.n derserves it..i think~

hehehe~ come to think of it, no wonder a.n is desperately wanting someone to care for nobody else but her, listen to her whine etc...
Well, don't blame a.n, cos' kkkk~ it's kinda nice to have someone doing tt~~
someone to hug you..and wipe away your tears..someone to be there for you~~
BUT that can be anyone..say your MUM DAD TWIN.etc..
i hope a.n treasure what its got.

LOL

Anyway, I was just reminded..becareful of what you wish for.
as i remembered, back in a few months ago, i was hoping to have job with the usual 8-5 hours. I was also hoping to take up more than two tuitions.
That was before BBQ.

After taking up three tuition, i thought this is should enough to keep me busy while still having enough time to spend with friends and him. But then... things always happen in way we least expect them to. Now im supposed to apply for this 8-5 job.. AND tt agency just called to give me ANOTHER assignment.
OK. the income is quite tempting. IF i do succeed in taking up everything, i could earn about double of what i did back in aji. O.o

But money aside, time is something i can never buy.
Life isn't a straightline.. HAIX~ I will try my best.. for the ones and things i love.

><
Sorry:(
this will suck but it will be over soon.
God blesses=)
& i ♥ u.

P.S. i totally LOLed at a.n's statuses~! LOL~

*a.n a.k.a. auspicious number LOL!

my ♥ lies in my family & friends & u.

2010-03-28T17:18:00.007+08:00

I know I had been ungrateful.
I know I was partly at fault for the quarrel on Thursday.

I guess that's the painful aspect about having kids. Seldom they are appreciative of what you do.
Most of the time, you seemed to be the hindrance, stopping them from having fun, fulfilling their dreams etc. Other times, you could become a burden.

I will never be able to fully understand how my parents feel or know all the reasons behind everything they do for me until the day i become a parent.
But i guess for now, the very least i can do is to respect their choices for me and my life.
At least i should know that whatever they do, they have my best interest at heart.

I ♥ my Mummy and Dad.

I understand why you were against my decisions at the start, and i respect what you have chosen for me. Yawn says im lucky in another sense too. Haha~ twin~ you are just as lucky okayy..

Well, today, while i was finalising my choices and about to submit my apps, my dad said he will support me no matter what i choose.
THAT is new to me. lols.
just kidding~

but i think they just wanted me to be happy. I m glad they have given some thought over it..

I guess I may not constantly feel their love... and that there may be times i really really disagree with their actions...but after cooling down and thinking about it again, Im fortunate n glad to have my family.
I ♥ my family&they ♥ me.

SO does your family too♥ ~

Haix.. there are times i really wish i could be there for you.. and where i could actually do something to alleviate your pain.
Yea, we should just enjoy the moment... instead of spending the time worrying about the future...but the future really seems bleak. Sometimes i can't even bring myself to think about it.

I just wish you could tell me what's wrong?
WHy is it that sometimes, things seemed so different from the beginning..
i just hope you will allow me to shoulder some of the burden for you.. i am not that weak as you think=)

♥ isn't just about me or you, although we may tend to think that way.
♥is about us.
不爱热闹喜欢两个人

hope everything will clear up soon~
God blesses~

WOOHOOO~~ architecture~

P.S.tt auspicious number is a joke~!! "nahhh~Fall BOO JIN." LOLed.

♥ is THE DRAGON!!! ~

2010-03-26T14:24:00.007+08:00

haha~
well, once again Dreamworks has amazed its audience with another aww-inducing thought-provoking wonderful piece of work~~~~
I totally ♥ the dragon..
AWWW TOOTHLESS!~~~

Its seriously worthed the $$$
and yes you would definitely fall in love with toothless~~♥♥♥
HE IS SOOOO CUTE!!!!

haha~
i guess one doesn't have to learn how to speak a certain language in order to communicate his/its love♥
Afterall, love is language of its own♥
(at least that's what i've 领悟ed for the past one and a half months)

After which i told BBQ i wanted a dragon too..
then i realise BBQ's a dragon(in a sense)♥^^♥
kekekeke~♥
#^^#

SO ANYWAY~ please go ahead and watch the movie! in my opinion la, its better than Alice In Wonderland. Oh, but if u have the money and time, do watch both. hehe :P

& today is definitely a wonderful day with a wonderful reason to celebrate~
because..... i've just received a new assignment a.k.a another tuition job. LOLs.
the woman said all i have to do to help with homework and mark their assessment bks.
i hope its really tt simple :D

&hahaaha love you yawn n shen~~♥

♥♥♥♥♥

“放弃自由喜欢两个人~♥ ”

爱是。。

2010-03-25T00:28:00.005+08:00

爱是用金钱，地位来衡量的吗？

友情也一样吧。。

呵呵。

可笑。无理。

难到永远都要服从你们的命令吗？

for the first time in my life,

i know what its really like to feel trapped.

or maybe its just PMS again.lols.

if they cant even accept them as my friends,

how will they ever accept him.....

wth is their effing problem.

ok. chill.

爱是。。

2010-03-25T00:28:00.001+08:00

yay! payday!

2010-03-21T23:06:00.003+08:00

hahaha. what a random post.

but yays to payday and irregular moodswings~!!!

"I izz feelin' High tozzay~"

Hmm.. perhaps it was due to the morning swim that might have caused the extra supply of endorphins.

Well, thanks shen for dragging me out~~

We shoud swim more often.

OKay, wrong. I should swim more often.

hehe~

Ham will be leaving for Japan tomorrow and sadly, we arent allowed to see her off in case we flood the departure hall..

zzz...

but we will miss you ham.. if we rmb to... lols.

Just keep to your promise-that you will update your FB =D

on a side not, i was wondering if it is the time to actually telling ppl about us(ever since i met chairman @IMM while hanging out w twin n chris)

hmmm, seems like a lot of people(in aji) already knew about it. yup. you guys are right.

im in a r*l*t*o*s*i* now -_- lols

unlocked

2010-03-16T00:58:00.004+08:00

while waiting for my Lie To Me and Criminal Minds season 5 episodes to load,
i've decided tt my blog has gathered enough dust and its time to write something about nothing.

zzz... i guess i've really crossed the line today after reaching home @ 11pm tonight.
My mum's now asking for twin's home number(which i managed not to give them) and forbidding me from "going to her house for free dinner". ok, hope dad doesnt read this.. but thats a lie.

Lols
apparently nobody found it weird tt there will be a day in every week where im at yawn's place having dinner...

i think having an extremely close twin is really helpful when it comes to covering your tracks XD

oh wells, but the cat will be out of the bag soon enough..
perhaps i should start preparing..
not sure of what to prepare though...

hoping for the better
& pray that this wont end so abruptly.

but then again, what do i expect..?
i know where this is going better than anyone else.
maybe i shouldnt have been so hasty in the first place...

its hard to even regret now.

p.s. i saw chen zhi cai @ national geographic store today. LOLs. he definitely looks shuaier in real life than on channel 8/5~ XP

disappointment?

2010-03-06T09:53:00.004+08:00

more like feeling hopeless.

oh wells,
dont try contacting me unless i contacted you myself.
dont try...if u still want to hear from me, ever.

lols.

im serious.
but i'll be fine.

p.s. thank twin n ham n wq<3 for making me feel better=)

someone pinch me please.

2010-03-03T23:54:00.006+08:00

The sweetest dreams dont always come when you want them to.

In fact, its the nightmares that like to make the surprise visit.

i know, i promised myself not to talk about it..

but ytd night, i actually dreamt i saw my grades.

seriously.

and it was blood-puking-inducing.

or maybe even sucide-inducing.

i dont know which one is worse...but you get the idea. the outcome wasnt very pleasant.

Well, i was relieved to be back in reality..

for now.

its comforting to know tt there are still some ppl and things that makes you feel safe and protected even when worse things happen.

the feeling of being able to rely on someone.. is haha~blissful~

feeling happy about tmr~

zzz.. i know should really go to sleep now if i want to stay away from panda eyes

BUT.. haix.. that convo..

There's nth wrong with what was said.

But Im just afraid of the future, like how im resisting the idea of seeing my results.

I know they all say its the process and experience and memories that counts..

but we care about the outcome for a reason too..

For furthur progresses.

I cant wait for the day when i can stop hiding and fearing the non-existent.

its kinda stupid... but everytime i think about the positives, it gives me courage.

perhaps i should really Just Do It..

soon.

ganbatte.........

& God blesses.

~may my dreams be filled with......eu~~

mixed feelings

2010-03-02T10:58:00.003+08:00

Life is peaceful.. for now. lol
Between tuitoring and attending BTP and (^^),
I guess i can easily say that im really quite free nowadays.
Which can be gd and bad.
free time = nothing to do= hu si luan xiang = dreading fri.

Hmmm..
so happens tt im actually looking forward to thurs...yet dreading fri.
T.T

alright alright,
as i've promised myself, no emo posts before anything comes out.

lalala~ visiting the lib and swimming complex with twin later~
seriously need to lose weight...
esp after i made the claim tt 8 should not be seeing 7 (or less) .
LOL.

*yet another random post.*

t.o.u.c.h

2010-02-26T01:23:00.001+08:00

is it just me?

or is it really too deep.
just dont drown. lol

"春天慢慢一点点发芽
快乐开始都有了想像
城市光合作用的模样
幸福开始组装"~

*looking forward to swimming~*

random emoticons

2010-02-22T23:38:00.003+08:00

(( ̲̅(̲̅C̲̅r̲̅a̲̅y̲̅o̲̅l̲̲̅̅a̲̅( ̲̅̅((>

☻/
/▌
/ \

╔═══╗
║███║ ♫
║ (●) ♫
╚═══╝♪♪

i is feeliinngg a bit..

2010-02-21T22:14:00.004+08:00

HIGH~!!

Finally after so many days of waiting and forgetting(lol),
i met up with HAM~~!!!

had some nice thai food @ thai express and swensen's stickychewyyummychocolate~..
which means i should probably go excercise real soon..
HAM~ twin n i missed u so muchhhh~
hope u will enjoy ur prolonged stay in T**** soon~~

T.T

alright, hate to admit it but yeah.. i'll most likely miss u while u're gone(again).

oh wells, let's meet up more often before u go~!

kekeke~
going for a swim tmr w twin.
hopefully i can lose some fats.
LOL.

QUiting my job plus CNY is certainly not helping me in the dieting department ehh...
HMPH.
ganbatte neh~

WHEEE~~~~~~~~~~~~~

to twin: yah~ u cant scold me not blogging anymore...(but u can scold me for the lousy crappy content. LOL)

TEEHEE~~

DEDICATED TO ...

2010-02-18T22:39:00.001+08:00

TWIN~!

hahaha... since you wanted me to dedicate this to you... your wish is granted!
lol~~~~

thanks for helping me though there's nth for u to help today...
WELL, nvm~~为了我们的友谊。。

this is for you(to laugh at)
LOL!!!

Ten things 8 people should not do

1. First and foremost, if you are an eight person, please stop reading this immediately. 8 people should not read my blog(especially this post).

2. 8 people should not order diet coke with upsized MCD's meal.(koped)

3. 8 people should not wear shorts.(with or without eyeshadow) LOLOLOL~

4. 8 people should not wear chunky bangles/bracelets. (it just place more emphasis on your 8-people-ness.)

5. 8 people should not consume Fish & Chips.(or anything fried. no-no~~)

6. 8 people should not take pictures with food(eg.fish&chips) AND bracelets.

7. 8 people should not drink.(quoted from qiao:"beer is fattening")

8. 8 people should not find a guy that is physically less 8 than you.

9. 8 people should not find a guy that is physically more 8 than you...

10. 8 people should not think too highly of oneself.( It doesnt mean tt if you cant see your toes, you're flying. It just means.... u cant see your toes..like the Kungfu panda. teehee~)

Actually there's really an eleven which i saw from somewhere on the internet.. but i think its too not-my-style so i shall place it in the p.s. section. LOL.

ANYWAY~~
Im feeling contented from the chinese new year holidays~
really enjoyed myself a lot~~
GLad to see MehQiaoBei again~LOL.
and really happy to visit twin's mum.. I LOVE YOUR MUM~~ HAHAHA!
But seriously, the thing tt makes me really really happy.. is to have my dad back forever~~
At least he said he wont be going back to china in near future..whee~~

Today was quite eventful too~
i think(?)

(coded talk below)
so glad tt coincidental things did not happen LOL.
Haishh, it didnt have to be this way right?
I mean, its really no big deal...right?
LOLs.
Really cant forget them but... its not my fault..WAHAHAHA~

oh wells, it was a wonderful and exciting experience today.
细嚼慢咽才能品尝出好滋味

Coded talks aside,
i want my green curry, twin.
T.T
let's go with sir someday LOL!!!
i miss my green curry X(

& i miss .

p.s. 11. 8 people should not think too highly of herself because when people* say you have a pretty face, it'sude to the fact tt there's not much else to compliment you on.

*people = virtual people.

HAPPYHAPPYHAPPY

2010-02-18T12:47:00.005+08:00

CHINESE NEW YEAR~!
(sry if this is a bit belated LOL)

p.s. i miss that auspicious number.LOL

anticipation. & a sunny day please.

2010-02-09T23:28:00.008+08:00

Hoping for a sunny weather & perhaps a little breeze? haha..

I guess no amount of words can speak my feelings now.

Luckily its past midnight and nobody is around otherwise I might have been mistaken as a moron. Cant help but grin like an idiot.
hehehe~

I'm suddenly/randomly/irrationally happy that our(twin,shen&i)plan didnt work out
so tt bad karma wont find me tmr. HAHAHA~

It would be nice to let loose and let go.
Slowly perhaps~

dont want to think of anything...for now=P

the bad thing about this blog/me now is that:
1. it(the blog)doesnt looks aesthetically pleasing without pictures in my posts
2. I'm being vague-er than ever due to .....(*seewhatimean*)

yeap, and this is causing the wordcount of my posts to be dropping at an exponential rate..while random pictures show up more frequently than ever...

and its disturbing.

skimpy content spammed with koped photos.
LOL my blog is growing pathetic.
hmm.. i guess its because i no longer have much to rant/share/amuse about after quiting my job. WOuldnt say that life is boring now....hehe..but its no longer peppered with so many "wow" happenings..

lols.

anyway thanks twin~ for... idno... hahaha...
for being there and everything~
Cant wait for friday to come~~
hehehe making the nice fried chicken again!~~

Guess i need to go soon..
surely i wont want to wake up with darker panda eyes...
but....not sure if i can sleep.

LOL!~

P.S. snake gang is eye-rolling-inducing. &twin u amaze me with your lameness.LOL~~~

Love.Courage.Hope.

2010-02-09T01:14:00.008+08:00

原来快乐很简单
幸福没有想象中那么遥远。

"我以為我是孤身漫步這花園
但其實你早就住在裡面
到底該不該分享酸甜苦辣鹹
心早已剪掉了防線"

I'm no longer caring where everything is going.
Maybe it doesnt really matter now.. as long as im not alone=D
Just 顺其自然~

"愛是每一滴我們心中的清甜
我只有和你一起努力的信念
肩靠著肩走過那晴陰雨天
再走一步一切便是真真切切
"

When you have the courage to love and hope, then you have ~~nothing to fear.~~
=]

P.S. chairman! dont think too much. hahahhahaha~~

Maybe it just takes time..

2010-02-08T01:39:00.006+08:00

It was barely two months ago when i first watched The Sisterhood of Travelling Pants.
At that point of time, i was still puzzled when Lena cried. I really thought it was a stupid thing to cry over. Kostas is a nice person. He likes her and she likes him too. I didnt think there was a need for her to be so upset.

Now i realise i didnt understand.
Because i havent been through anything like that.

And now i also realise Kostas is a bit impatient.
How can he be pissed at Lena just like that.

But that's besides the point.

I've no idea how to phrase this or what am i trying to say at all.
just wanted to 发泄 a bit.

It's been almost a week, and gradually becoming a habit of mine.
Didnt really know when it started but i guess not only did it started, it silently grew stronger and stronger.
and now im shocked by my own emotions. I've no idea why.
Maybe there's really something very wrong with me.
Maybe i really think too much and too far.

I'm just glad my twin understands me.
lol. we can never really quarrel i guess.

Hmm... I'm just afraid.
Although it did became a lot better after telling him, i'm still unsure if i could really get rid of this feeling. afterall, its your heart at stake.

""

FINALLY!~

2010-02-07T10:45:00.005+08:00

whee~!
I've finally gotten my hands on my beloved shorts after being indecisive for two/three days~

hehehe~~
Went out with twin yesterday!
I missed talking to you twin!
the crazzaayy 8 talks~
LOL.

ahahaha & i bought another two tees ..hmm.. thats my ny clothes i guess~
something for a change!
no more dresses or skirts or anything frilly or too 淑女 ~

well, changes always occurs when you least expect them to.
i can sense everything shifting..but a part of me refused to move along.

i mean,
its quite ridiculous of me to be so paranoid even before i had experience anything at all.

but it's a totally new experience to me. or anyone i know( i think *tsk*).
and i've no idea where it will lead to.

honestly, im scared.

if this hasnt happen to me,
i wouldnt have realised that i actually had this problem with such things.
did i watch too many dramas?
lols.

its not like i've been through anything traumatic in that area...
so why am i reacting like that?

are people suppose to react this way?

perhaps you never know if you've never give it a chance.

=]

whereareyouwhereareyou~

2010-02-06T09:43:00.005+08:00

i guess things aren't always what they seem to be.
in a good way of course=)

yesterday was proof to the above statement.
it was also proof that three words when repeatedly yelled for over half a min can scare the hell out of anyone(yes, even without the face).haha

started out as a freaky orning/noon but didnt expected it to turn out well instead~

it's like how i didnt expect certain things to become the way they are now either.. haha.. but im still not sure of my feelings so... yup... i dno~

ANYWAY~
had fun @ IMM & Jurong Point with Shen yesterday even though our plan didnt work out (cuz i single-handedly ruined it). okay, im really sorry to everyone and i know you guys are disappointed. At least we wont have bad karma?

hahahahaha~

oh yah~
THANKS CHERMAINE FOR THE TREAT @ ICHIBAN~
(the sashimi/soba/sushi are damn niceXD )
zz... &can you please stop treating people of your own age..lol
can you please stop being so nice.. hahaha~
i know you are chairman but it still makes me feel really bad.. LOL
but thanks again~ =) will visit frequently with milktea and drinks =P

and and and~~~
shen~~
the desserts were yummy~~~ esp the mango roll~~~
must go eat again when you come back...~~

luckily we tried the shorts before we ate the desserts.. hahaha
we've tried so many shorts(at least i felt like i did)
(&da shen n I have reached a conclusion that the largest size was only 42..not foureight)

LOL.

haishh .. but im so confused now.. should i get the dress or the shorts..
maybe i'll get the shorts. hehe~ need to buy a nice top to go with it lehh~ hahahaha~

Not sure why im so high and all..
but i think its mostly because twin and i have made up with each other!
i know, its so sudden i cant believe it myself.
i guess i owe someone a big thank you..
thanks for making me realise what a BFG/BFH you are because then i realise that quarrelling with twin was more stupid than you.

but then again... you are really v stupid leh. we all know why... at least twin n i n shen does. and maybe christina.. and jiamin(?) LOL!!!!!!!!!!

love you shen~
(yea pls go back and buy the nice blusher for mii~ buy some nice eyeshadow too! LOL and nice shorts LOL and ... hahahaha.. ok enough.)
love you twin~
(we can finally go out and have nice thai food!~~ and take loads of NICE pictures to post on facebook. argh.. i hate not talking to you. LOL)
love you 8hahahahaha~
hahahaahaha~

++++++++++++++++++++++++++
haix.. im not sure where it is heading to..
sometimes im really really elated when...
but sometimes im doubtful.
why is it that i can see an end before it barely starts?
should i just drop it and give it up?
or give it a chance.

>.<
really want to believe everything __said is true=(

不明白。

2010-02-02T17:16:00.005+08:00

“窗外的天氣
就像是你多變的表情”

你好奇怪。看不明白。

“下雨了雨陪我哭泣
看不清我也不想看清 ”

至今我不知道你在想什么
不过有一件事很清楚：你讨厌我。

“離開你我安靜的抽離
不忍揭曉的劇情
我的淚流在心裡
學會放棄”

对咯我就是很懦弱
但给我一个月的时间
就不会再这样了

“聽雨的聲音一滴滴清昕
你的呼吸像雨滴滲入我的愛裡
真希望雨能下不停

讓想念繼續讓愛變透明
我愛上給我勇氣的 Raining Love

窗外的雨滴一滴滴累積
屋內的濕氣像儲存愛你的記憶
真希望雨能下不停

雨愛的秘密能一直延續
我相信我將會看到彩虹的美麗*

冷冷的空氣
很仔細我無法呼吸
一萬顆雨滴的距離
很徹底讓愛消失無息

屋內的濕氣像儲存愛你的記憶
真希望雨能下不停

雨愛的秘密能一直延續
我相信我將會看到彩虹的美麗”

会雨过天晴的。
只是我还在等待。

500th Post!!~ last day @ Ajisen

2010-02-01T13:54:00.004+08:00

wow. this is my 500th post on this blog~
and i cant believe im actually going blog about emo stuff.

anyway, ytd was my last day @ajisen=(
it was like back to the first day again..since i was in charge of making drinks once more. LOL

honestly speaking, i really didnt realise how busy it was ytd becos i was stuck in the drinks station the whole time. i just rmbed doing four five ice lemon tea and another four five ice lemon tea and so on.. until i ran out of ice lemon tea...AND 7ups

all thanks to tt stupid one-for-one soda promotion. tsk.

haha~ but luckily thanks to wj(who is in charge of sending drinks)
i didnt really feel the panic as usual because there was no drinks "jam" hahah~

yup, & i only happened to realise how busy it was when i was refilling lemon tea(?) becuase i was actually sweating from making drinks LOL!!!

si in the end, i felt like it was my first day all over again.
hehe & at night, i was asked to do drinks/sauce.
didnt find it weird or anything but then i realised tt they made me do drinks/sauce so i wouldnt know tt they bought pizza for me~~

hehehe surprise party!~
thanks chermaine lily thomas juhua huiling alvin and all~!
i was really touched~!!!!
although i didnt cry(becuase everyone was so happy) im really greatful and gan dong-ed~~~~~

will miss working there with you all..
but mostly i will miss u all~
and miss the crazy busy hours..
and the stoning hours..
and staff meals..
i promise i will visit frequently~~

hehe dont forget me~

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I'm just a little bit
caught in the middle
Life is a maze
and love is a riddle
I don't know where to go
I can't do it alone
(I've tried)
and I don't know why

Slow it down
make it stop
or else my heart is going to pop
'cuz it's too much
Yeah, it's a lot
to be something I'm not

I'm a fool
out of love
'cuz I just can't get enough

I'm just a little bit
caught in the middle
Life is a maze
and love is a riddle
I don't know where to go
I can't do it alone
(I've tried)
and I don't know why

I am just a little girl
lost in the moment
I'm so scared
but don't show it
I can't figure it out
it's bringing me down
I know
I've got to let it go
and just enjoy the show

The sun is hot
in the sky
just like a giant spotlight
The people follow the sign
and synchronize in time
It's a joke
Nobody knows
they've got a ticket to that show
Yeah

I'm just a little bit
caught in the middle
Life is a maze
and love is a riddle
I dont know where to go
I can't do it alone
(I've tried)
and I don't know why

I am just a little girl
lost in the moment
I'm so scared
but don't show it
I can't figure it out
it's bringing me down
I know
I've got to let it go
and just enjoy the show

~

矛盾。

2010-01-30T10:59:00.004+08:00

我就是这么矛盾的一个人
明明是很希望听见这句话
但是当他/她真的说出口时，却后悔了

看来还是不知自己要什么吧

很想相信那是发自于内心的
可如果又是一场骗局呢？

不知道要相信谁
更不清楚能不能信任自己的judgement.

其实真的没有理由再想这么多了
都快结束了
不是吗？

虽然我也有些话很不想说出口，
但是，
真的真的，懦弱的我是会想念的。

“当所有如果都没有如果
只有失去的拥有最永久”

childish acts.

2010-01-28T00:25:00.004+08:00

i didnt know you'd be stalking my blog like this.
If u hadnt said it yourself, i wouldnt have repeated it back into your face: please dont think tt just because you bashed me on your blog means you are some righteous creature.

for goodness sake, i wasnt even bashing you in the first place.
I was, in fact, merely trying to remind you that perhaps sometimes you are the one who thinks that you are so great tt all the guys revolve around you.
lol.

its hilarious7 ridiculous you actually thought i like him, because i dont.
ha..i dont even know how to reply you anymore, to think tt you actually thought og me in such a way.

i mean, comparing the time we've known each other and the time you've spent with him..
okay, comparing time is lame.
but the amount of ordeals we've been through together and the number of times u went out with him. you've barely known him... and yet you rather turn your back against me for him?

i read his blog.
i'm sure you did too.
it's not my fault tt he seems like such a disgusting person...

but you know what, i dont care anymore.
it just hurts to know tt you thought i havent been listening to your rants.
lol.

yeah, maybe to you i've always been tt kind of friend.
yea, i was fake to you. yea, i've nvr really cared what the heck you were blabbering about because they were all so wu liao n mediocre. but mainly because sometimes you really think too much. I tried telling you, tried to hint you but what do i get?

lol. its so stupid.

on seconds thoughts, i think you are the fake one.

and yes, i believe i know better tt there are ppl in this world who wear masks and pretend to make promises when they will not happen. they could be telling you one thing but doing another.
you should be the one being careful. not me. if you know what i mean.

i sincerely hope this will be the last time im replying to you and your stupid blog posts. i hope you stop stalking me like tt. it freaks everyone out. really.
_________________________________________________________________________________
杨丞琳 - 匿名的好友

独送昏暗不离的风回忆里被爱
那股激动天色好红
温柔好浓在胸口浮现你的面容
一起活在这城市里更提起你名字
心还跳动却没重逢
只留下碰却又不敢碰的那种激动
也许我们当时年纪真的太小
从那懵懵懂懂走进各自天空
该怎么说让彼此选择但思念还转动
不能握的手从此匿名的朋友
其实我的执着依然执着
与你无关泪自行吸收
不能握的手却比亲人更亲厚
当所有如果都没有如果
只有失去的温柔最温柔
当又一次美梦落空回忆里被爱
那股激动天色好红
温柔好浓在胸口浮现你的面容
也许我们当时年纪真的太小
从那懵懵懂懂走进各自天空
那是什么让彼此选择
又不仅是尊重
不能握的手从此匿名的朋友
其实我的执着依然执着
却决心和你不再联络
不能握的手却比爱人更长久
当所有如果都没有如果
只有失去的拥有最永久
。。。。。。。。。

真没想到会变成这样
没想到那眼神是如此让人难过
好像现在解释也太迟了是吗？

到这种地步，只能不停提醒自己如果不是这样以后也是会后悔的
我做错了吗？

有时很清楚自己的决定
但有时却不清楚自己要的到底是什么。。
不明白为什么是这样的结果
也不知道是不是我一直以来的想太多

可以告诉我你从来都是讨厌我吗？

哦。。变态了我。。。

冷冷的空气
很窒息
我无法呼吸。。。

冰冰冷冷

2010-01-26T01:45:00.003+08:00

歌名:雨爱
歌手:杨丞琳

窗外的天气就像是你多变的表情
下雨了
雨陪我哭泣看不清我也不想看清
离开你我安静的抽离无人揭晓的剧情
我的泪流在心里学会放晴

听雨的声音一滴滴清晰
你的呼吸像雨滴渗入我的爱里
真希望雨能下不停
让想念继续让爱变透明
我爱上给我勇气的Rainie Love

窗外的泪滴一滴滴累积
屋内的湿气像储存爱你的记忆
真希望雨能下不停
雨爱的秘密让你去延续
我相信我就会看到彩虹的涟漪
+++++++++++++++++++++

好可怕的气息
好可怕的念头
它为何总缠绕着我
离不开

闻到那种气息..触碰到那种感觉
很敏感的地带
一定要这样吗?

不行要坚强
要知道是为了自己好为他/她好.
先苦后甜是这样吧
可我没想过那是多么苦多么痛

HAI~
会过去的
没结果

真希望雨能下不停...

hopefully it was right.

2010-01-25T01:38:00.004+08:00

wow.. today's an interesting.
well, actually everyday is an interesting day.
so many things happening and so many things to dsicover/uncover.

haha..
anyway i was really stumped when the guy handed me a $1000 note.
luckily jh was there and she stopped me from keying in the bill.
so, with the two guys, i went from shop to shop trying to change the thousand dollar note into smaller ones. wth.. its totally hilarious and ridiculous at the same time.
i got to slack a bit but it was kind of paiseh as well...

but anyway, the guy managed to change his note in the end so.. happy ending~~

yup, then later in the evening, DAWN YEOH came to eat~~~~~~ with her mum.
so sweet=)

i was doing cashier for quite long so i didnt notice her until a customer was chatting with me while i keyed in his bill. at first i didnt believe its her because she looked so different(but still very very very pretty~~ & TALL) but when she came to pay her bill, i saw the name on her credit card and confirmed its her. so cool~~ hhaha ive got her signature...on the receipt HAHAHAHAH~

not a big fan.. so yup,whatever~~

maybe if suju comes here to eat...(okay thats impossible)

ANYWAY~~~~

feeling distraughted again..
perhaps the biggest lesson ive learnt from my working experience is tt people are just so hard to read and understand. the good news, though, is tt u can always change ur opinions about them..

well, i guess its just a simple fact which i cant get used to: people have their good n bad points.. but its up to you to decided if u can really tolerate them or not.

i think we can have our own views and xiang fa,so there are always some people whom we choose to tolerate n like despite their ridiculous/stupid habits/behaviours.

zzz.. during this one month, my impressions of them keep changing. from strangers to friends... then the darker side is slowly revealed. and then u realise tt they still have some good points tt cant be ignored... and then u decided if u dont mind if they are stupid in some ways.. or u make up ur mind to not get too close too them because u just cant stand their behaviour.

maybe its just a process u have to go through tediously in the adult world(LOL).
its unlike in sch, where u get to choose ur clique of friends...

haix,
and one more thing, i never knew it hurts so much.. to do a simple thing like this but this time, it really proves to me nothing hurts more than this.but i guess i made a wise choice.
shall keep tt in mind constantly in case i start to regret.

yup. i'm right and you're wrong - you'll nvr be able to understand.

P.S.stop 'wasting' ur time reading my blog.

suddenly liked this song..got stuck in my head..

[最爱]

谁曾经说爱情会很漫长
头发也白了都会在身旁
到最后只有我守侯到天亮
谁曾经给我一百个希望
还承诺永远不让我失望
到最后才发现只有泪在脸上
爱是一种勇气
当确定了就不停止
路就算再崎岖我也要走下去
包容你宠坏你守着你
都是你让我一辈子愿意
除了是心痛我什么都可给你
爱了就不怕伤心
聆听你附和你纵容你
都是你我会永远不放弃
下定决心天下再美丽
我最爱的只有你

first act.

2010-01-18T01:53:00.004+08:00

shouldnt be wasting my time to blog but argh, cant sleep if i didnt let out zhe yi kou qi.

i mean, ya whatever, it doesnt really bothers me and its perhaps none of my business
but as a close friend, i say this because i care.

haix,
i know you havent been talking to me since the day after the meal at the science centre. Its not your fault tt things happened like the way it is now.
but i feel tt its your responsibility to analyse the situation.
As in, u should really understand the entire picture before making such judgements.

SOmetimes you should really open your eyes a little and see tt "things" are not the way you think they are. it just hurts me to see you upset over stuff tt doesnt really need so much attention! zzzz... how should i phrase it.

nvm. emo things aside.
haishhh... been so busy lately. WHY do so many ppl have to eat here??
okay larh, i agree the food is nice hehe... the desserts are nicer!!!!

yup, so many things happened but a bit too tired to blog anymore.
just feel tt if there is anything tt ive learnt from these incidents, it would be tt u should nvr take things for granted and see yourself too highly. sometimes you think you know yourself very well, but in the end, you could just be wearing the wrong glasses all the time.

and yes, nvr take ppl for granted as well. i guess ive been meglecting a lot of friends lately. i know some of you are pissed with me.. like shen..but im really sorry... will try to make time for u guys next week or sth? =))

& need to meet up with other impt friends as well.. like tiger vidhya..who just came back from india.. lets go out with mas pres(whom i also v long nvr see alr~~)

& chua as well~~ omg..so long nvr see u le.. why you nvr celebrate my bday with me =(( lols.. must go out soon okay~~ and i desperately need to buy makeup lol!
&ham~~~ where are u now~~~~

zzz... & to tt certain someone=(, hope u see things clearer nxt time.. im really not angry, just lil annoyed.. lols.

2010-01-14T00:20:00.004+08:00

I guess you can never really have anything entirely your way.

Cest la vie.
Just when you believe life is good, it's flaws starts showing up.
Then again, that's what makes life so interesting.
It never stops changing. Surprises are forever plentiful so never be complacent:(

I thought tt working here doesn't really make me realise how harsh the 'reAl world'( tt adults speak of) really is.
But I'm wrong:) lols.
I mean, I was wrong abt flower:D cuz she's really the hidden kind of nice(as said by yawn twin).
Lols. I thought discovering the nice flower will make my working days better( well it did),
but many other things unexpectedly cropped up. Life is complicated and full of choices to be made.
There isn't really a Right or wrong so now I fully understand what was taught during pdp alr. LOL!

Hmmm.. I know there is no other way but to duo bi& yuan li. Haha for the good of other ppl as well.
Eh, because knowing my character, the longer this drags, the worse it gets & the problem worsens.
I guess it will forever be a stupid trait of mine. But oh wells, at least nobody knows wahahahaah~~

and now, to think of the excuses. Yawn!! Where is tt list u say u re making for me?:)))

maybe there is really no other way out.
So pardon me. For doing this.

2010-01-13T14:39:00.008+08:00

哎~ 是应该勇敢面对滴但现在只能逃避了
cos its the only solution now.

zzzz... shall not emo too much now because~~
i want to blog about Body Worlds~~!!! :D

Been saying that i want to go since ages ago but nobody actually came up with a date so in the end, twin & i just spontaneously went there on tues when i had a break~~!!

hehehe~

Didnt/couldnt take any pictures of those fascinating/eerie exhibits because its strictly forbiddened.
oh well, its okay. I shall roughly describe what happened and hope that more ppl will visit there soon! It really damn cool~~!!!

When we first went in, it's real'y kinda scary because the whole place was dark and there was only twin & i. Extremely quiet with the exception of the creepy bg music they were playing.

And the first exhibits we saw were regarding to sexual intercourse(?) and babies-the start of LIFE.
SO followed a whole series of plastinated dead baby bodies/foetus, ranging from few days old to 8 months old. There were just so many different emotions tt I felt whether is it a the puny lump of cells I see or the almost matured baby. They could have developed into a living human now.

its also amazing to imagine tt we were once just that small clump of cells. seriously, even though its damn tiny, it alrdy had limbs n a heart. Science is fascinating n intriguing indeed..

and then slowly the exhibit went on the the different parts of the body in different stages of life/illness/etc. U see the veritcal slice comparison of an obesed person and a normal one... and it just rings an alarm to nvr eat too much macs LOL!

there were so many organ displays: aortas, lungs, spleens, livers, heart, ears, spinal cords etc..
and the comparisions of diseased one with normal ones.
ONe of the spinal cords display was of a person with extremely serious spinal cord problems. I rmb seeing it twisted in such a crude angle i thought it was twisted manually by the ppl who plastinated the bones. but twin told me its actually an illness.... BUT it was so twisted that the hip was protruding into its lung areas...

oh wells.

besides those organ displays, the rest are mostly humans(majority males) displays-with bones, w/o bones, w/o skin, with skin but not on the body, with muscles, with muscles, with organs, wlo organs..etc..

its kinda freaking when u think about it.. then what u are looking at is what that is inside u right now.. lols. i dno how thats freaky but its freaky to me.

i think the scariest ones are still the cancerous organs/ organs with defects.
its hard to describe how scary it is(its not nice to describe as well) so pls go n look at it urself. LOL.

besides humans, there were also animal displays such as birds, reindeers(!!), horse(freaking huge), giraffe(giant mega freaking HUGE)...giant squids, octopus.

all of the animal displays were memorable. they dont just look like meat anymore.. JK!~
well, i really found the horse one very interesting because.. firstly, the horse is freaking BIG. not the normal horses u see in the zoo but a wild one i guess.
COmpared to the man(plastinated) who was riding on it, everything about it seems SO HUGE. yes everything u can see from the outside n inside...lols.
everything except for the brain. i didnt notice it until i realise the man was holding two brain in his hand. One was distinctively the human brain..the other was much smaller, less grooves...the horse's brain.

=O

and another of my fav is the giraffe displays.
it is soooo talllll that twin n i could easily stand under its body without hitting my head or sth. I truly felt what it is like to be 渺小 after having the opportunity to stand so close to such a magnificent animal~~

ohlalala~ oh but my fav fav fav one is actually the horizontal slices of the entire giraffe. IT IS SO FREAKING COOL i have no other words to describe it. thats why u must go and see it for urself dears~~!!!

on the whole, my gan xiang for this trip(the Body Worlds Part) is tt i shall take good care of my wonderful body..lols.. because its really so wonderful n 厉害 in many ways.. so.. less junk food & more milk n fruits n vegetables.LOLS.

hehehe and being fair is not a bad thing afterall~~ cuz suntanning increases AGING BUAHAHAHAH~~bahahaha~(lol)

yep. we should all love our bodies cuz they did so much for us and they are just so cool mansss.. (crapping again~~ n again and again~~~)

YEAH~ after which, twin n i went to explore the science centre..
AND we found out tt they had a new exhibit regarding sounds. ITS SO FREAKING FUN~~~
i love the virtual barber the most. it sounds so real tt both of us freaked out during the virtual hair cut hahaha~
the ladle rat rotten hut story was hilarious but soooo interesting.

the whole trip just made me love science again(lols. esp because we no longer have to memorise periodic tables anymore. jk~) but the nanotechnolody exhibit was a bit sian.. all words etc.. but oh well!~ the rest were really fun..

so.. YUP~ do visit the science centre again when u have the time~ it makes u feel young wahahahahah~~~

2010-01-12T00:40:00.003+08:00

Today is an interesting day
& I'm utterly freaked out by many ppl.

But firstly is tt stalker la.
The fake(virtual) stalker.
Hmmm maybe only twin n shen n bei will understand but oh wells, I have decided tt there's nth I can do but ignore
and of course laugh it off. Ok so we ALL laughed it off all the time.
But I'm still kinda freaked out.
I mean, what's the point?!
Get a life u stupid cow!
(not refering to yuxian who likes cows)

Lols.
Another strange thing I've experience today is more of a reminder that the water always seems calm.
U nvr know what's going on underneath though.
I just hope bluetrain n flower is still able to let me 依靠when I'm lost.
Afterall, sometimes I really treat bluetrain as my elder bro n flower as my laO da(?) lols.
I need someone whom I can rely on.
That's how independent I am.

But oh wells, the point is tt now tt i'm lost amongst the undercurrents, I hope tt my lifebuoy will come back soon.
I hope bluetrain will listen to me when I need to talk to him or flower or both.

Hope tt they or at least he will understand me sia.

Zzzz need to sleep le.
Tmr going to bodyworks w twin hehehe
I Sa jiao-ed to flower and she gave me a day off!!:)

Maybe life isn't all tt weird.
And we mustn't be fearful of the future.
Because, to be fearful is to be faithless.

Alright sweet dreams and gd night!!:)

P.S. haha actually being cashier is both scary and exciting I realized.

2010-01-11T01:49:00.003+08:00

I should be sleeping now but I can't.
Zzz working full shift tmr from morning till night.
& bluetrain isn't there. Flower isn't there too:(
there's this new person tmr. She sounds scary though.
Howwwww

so confused.

Haix.
I must be feeling too much.
才发现最可怕的竟是最想不到的.

I dno why it changes so fast. Maybe it's just me and my foolishness.
Don't know what I'm actually expecting to get from this.
Oh wells, it's not like I'm in control or sth.

In fact, the only thing I thought I had some say over is no longer up to me to decide.
Hmm..this must stop soon. Because there isn't a destination to this journey(lols moomoo)
zzzz.. Why must it always happen like this?
&why is it always so suay for me?:(

Lols coded talk.

Ya. I was supposedly emoing today but I guess nobody realise
cuz in the end flower smses me asking why am I always so happy everyday hahaha

but seriously la, I do feel v happy everyday because I feel like a blessed child.
And becAuse of my mummy(who waits up for me everynighy) and cuz of yawn twin who an wei me every night/midnight.
& lastly because...of sth... Wellsss... hahah~~ u'll nv understand because I don't either!:))

gd night!:)

2010-01-10T01:36:00.006+08:00

I guess, as each day pass, the idea of leaving just fades away..
because people just becomes nicer and nicer as u gradually get to know them.

Oh wells, emo stuff aside, today was the busiest scariest day ever!!!
It's total madness mannnsss~~
running around and everything.. I shall take a leave every now and then on sat haha~
It was so scary and crazy tt my mind couldn't think straight.
The kitchen the drinks the tables and oh man the queue of ppl.

I had the( /.\ ) face. Lols.
And everyone was like why u (/.\)?
I was like: cuz I'm so freaked out!!!!
Never see before 大场面！！

oh ya twin!! There's this new girl here today:)
erm well shouldn't say much about it here but we can talk over the phone abt it tmr!:)
hahah~

and ohya, today is lx's last day!!
I totally forgot abt it!:(
anyway we went to the western food stall near my house for supper:))
lx's treat!!!:))

yup blue train rode his bike there hahaha!
Flower chipmunk and chairman all went there!!:) and lx ofcourse:)

super high as usual even though there was no alcohol at all.
Just lemon tea and tehbing lols.
I thinks it my aura la hahahaha~
ya!! And bluetrain said my mum must have ate a lot of 开心果when she had me.
Cuz I'm like one-.-
lols. Oh and flower said I am the hua of our restaurant!!:)))
then blue train said I'm the 2nd cuz chairman must be the first.
Haha oh wells, have to agree cuz chairman so skinny and chio and STRONG.
Boo she is like stick thin and carries almost twice as much as me most of the time!!:(

Anyway I was so happy I was second lorh.... Until they said the new girl Is like the fifth??!!
Lols no offence though~~~~~ XDDD
yup~~
ohohoh!!!!
And flower walked me all the way to my flat!!!!! Soo nice!!!!!
She said she was afraid I kena kidnapped at the lift.
Totally lol@ her.
But still, I'm touched!!!:)))

lols and I think we just gotten even closer.
Wth lols!

Ok tt links back to the start of this post.
I really don't know what I want now.

Maybe I do.
(moomoo)

2010-01-08T23:53:00.005+08:00

Sometimes words really fail.
I have no idea how to describe how much love(oh man this mushiness isn't like me) & grattitude I felt for everyone- ESP my dearest twin.

Twin came to pick me up from work ytd before we went for our sleepover last night/this morning XD
and we waited till 2am before she lighted the cake she bought for mii. Lols cuz I told her my mum said I was born ard tt time.
Zzz was so gan dong-ed. Felt like the most impt person in the world muhahahah~~

anyway, then we ate a bit of cake and opened her present!!!
Aghhhh twin~~~ thanks for the effort! Lols just kidding!
but seriously, Really touched by how much effort/time u put into making my present.
I really almost criedLif not for the funny moments when opening the present.
Lols. I have so much to say after reading the freaking long letter u wrote la but I shall sAve it for ur birthday tooXD
shall not get too emotional on my blog for now.

Yup just wanna say I love u twin!!! But not in the Les way too!! xD

and then this morning/afternoon, we went to our workplace to eat dessert!:)
haha totally didn't expect them to treat us like royalties lols!
Oh wells, and was really touched when blue train really agreed to make desserts for us (I was joking w him lols).
Hehe damn happy cuz his desserts are super chio~~~
(unlike mine)

lol

yup thanks jh Jie for paying for the desserts!!! love u!!!!
And thanks bluetrain for giving us extra scoops/fruits/etc!!
Yes we can totally taste the gan Qing in the dessert!:)))))
lol!

Oh~ & flower treated us to lunch today along w chairman!:)))
it was damn nice la. ESP love the soup!!:)) hehe~
but I think I have to treat her w chilli crab somedayss~~ lols.

After tt we have origami session w 'sis'!!!!
Haha his origami hearts are soooooo pretty!!!! XD
totally had to learn it manss:)

Had taken so many pictures but too tired to upload today~~ :D
shall upload tmr haha~~

yup and thanks 4E for organising the celebration thingy!!:))
hehe the restaurant is not bad but their serving is way too much le!
Lols the cake is damn nice btw!:)) and the necklaces are soo pretty too!!:)

hahaha must thank twin once again and again~~ cuz she chosed thr necklaces for me!!
Omg I said I wanted the necklace when I was sec 4? And she still rmbed. Even I forgot abt it till now.
T.T twinnn I lurb u( not in a Les way)!!!!! Oh man I'm so stressed for ur bday now! xD

ahhhhh I feel so pampered and special today!!!
Even words cant describe this feeling & grattitude towards everyone!!
Thanks for all the wishes and hard work and everything!!
I'm sorry I'm so lousy at describing this but I really do feel like the luckiest/happiest/most loved person in the world:)

& last but not least: a big hug to my mum for holding the party for me on 1st Jan. A big hug for my dad for wishing me happy bday all the way from china:)) i really feel loved wheeeeee~~~

super happy!
And crazzzzaayyyyy~~

oh wells shall upload all my pics tmr!!
Gd night!!!!

2010-01-08T01:25:00.002+08:00

Whee~~~ I'm Almost nineteen but not yet 19!! Cuz I'm born at ard 2am. Haha
half hour more!!:) haha only thirty minutes to count down!!

Haha now chatting yawn and eatting halal dried fish fillet Aka 鱼条lols!!

So touched tt twin came and pick me up from work today!:)
and so touched tt flower made me sweet &sour fish bento for lunch~~
ahhhh can she stop being nice:)) lols!:)

(&twin is getting crazy & high. Shall ask her to stop eating the fish thing.)

hehe tmr going out w 4E to celebrate yay!:)
and going to my workplace to eat dessert!:)
flower say bluetrain will treat me wahahahah~~~

omg it's so fun!! And twin offcially crazaayyy nowww~~~
haha should have more sleepovers!!!:)
with twin bei and shen and ham and memy and Qiao and cao and sasa and mascular pres and qiaowei and Cheryl...
Haha I'm crazzayy too.

Lols but we nvr drink any alcohol lehh

haha looking forward to tmr!!:)
haha omg 8 more minutes leh!!:)
yay!!!!! Happy bday to me:)))

2010-01-05T00:38:00.004+08:00

Now I'm really really terribly utterly miserably confused:(
god help me!!!!

Even flower can't help me make up my mind anymore:'(
why must u be nice to me?(I'm not trying to be funny).
Why can't u continue being fierce and freaky?
Why can't u continue to let me hate u.

Blue train & chipmunk & doraemon & '(pregnant) brother~' are enough to waver my feelings,
so I thought only flower could really make up my mind about leaving.
I want to leave. Because I used to say I want to.
On sat, I was still keen abt this idea. At least I thought I was still sure of what I want.

But today, I'm reallY confused.
There is no way I could make up my mind to leave now.
Not after flower became nice to me. Not after blue train became even NiCER to me.
I cannot stand it!!! Why is everyone so nice suddenly?!
Wth. I sound crazy.

I don't want to leave anymore. How??:(

but this place holds nth much for me.
Well, it has given me a lot: in terms of values I've learnt.
It has made me fitter.

Oh mans. Twin why don't u come back. Like seriously.

Ahaha cuz today bluetrain was asking me to ask more frens to come here
& then, I thought of erkhemm & lol-ed @him.

Aghhhh~~~ shan't think abt it today.
I wan to cry le!!!! :'(((((

2010-01-03T20:21:00.004+08:00

Went for RV big walk ytd morning!!:)
& had to wake up at 7am.lols.
I was so tired la~ due to the party on fri.
Then yawn n zhihao said I looked as though I was having a hung over. Lol!

Anyway, ytd was soo fun too!!
And totally crazzzaayyy~
hahahahaha

though someone by the name of zhixuan is late, 12(?) of us managed to arrive at sci centre on time somehow XD!!
And WoW to all the many generations of rvians tt participated!!!
We even saw uncles n aunties there w their families hahaha.

Woohoo~ and had a lot of leveling up talk w dad cao & yawn.
Jolene they all were also leveling up by singing Edison chen's old
song. It's kinda Dui lian la. Bt whatevr lols.

Oh! & mh came w a cap! He looked so tan! Army must be scary sia.
Gd luck to the guys mannnsss~~~
XD

ah~ but the highlight of the event is actually visiting the new campus.
Like what dad said: it puts the rest of our schs to shame.
Totally!!!! It's so HHHUUuGGGEEE~~
X( oh why can't I be born a yr later:(((?

Lols~~ aft the long visit we went ding tai fung~~
I think tt was when it came, cuZ the air con was sooooo cold DX
thnks zh for the jacket though :D

zzzzz.. And aft my joyous outing w 4E, I had to report to work.
Poor me.
With it, I went to work.
Was in very bad condition so the whole while my face was 0^0

I think it was my sad face tt cause everyone to look so pissed as well
& blue train even scolded someone! :0 (& he blamed it on the fact tt I didn't smile at him. Wth)
haix. Really sorry abt it ahh.
But really thanks for caring for me & everything(including flower).

& thanks twin for coming all the way to visit me and bringing me porridge!!!
Love u twin(love ur porridge more) hahaha
muahx!:)

I promise I won't Chou Lian tmr le!!:)))

2010-01-02T01:25:00.003+08:00

my brother just came in and said this: good night! today is the "funnest" day!"

normally i would just roll my eyes at him & da fa him with a "ya-ya"
BUT this time i actually totally agreed!

its been so long since i had so much fun~~! totally deprived mansss~~~
=O

Maybe its because we havent meet up since dno when liao,
i sort of forgot how much fun & laughter we had when we got tgt
& how crazy we were.
hahahhah~

oh mans, A's totally suck the life out of me.
haix. next year it'll be the three little ones(tsk i feel so old). ALL the best~!!!

yup, its been so long since the four of us were having fun tgt again.
haha & i almost couldnt rmb how i enjoyed being w bei memy & qiao..
and someone is totally drunk today(even though u did not drink any alcohol!)

Actually its bei & memy although qiao was the one who bravely drank a quite bit of wine.
tsktsk... hahahah~! OH maybe the woman @ the bbtea stall spike Memy's drink with an alcoholic pineapple? LOL.
CRAZZZYYYY~~~ hahahaha~

weellllssss, wooohoo~~~ a happy & HIGH-y start to 2010!!!!!
LOVE U GUYS!!!(even though i received mostly ang-paus this year BUT im not complaining! XDDD)

It's been about 8-9 years since i met bei~~!!!!
i still rmb the time we were at Qiao's swimming pool!~
(oh mans, suddenly feeling even older)

&its about 12-13 yrs for qiao(WOW) & 6-7 yrs for memy!~~

zzz... i shoudlt post this up. it makes me feel really old.
no wonder yawn was like: aiya you and your old friends get together la...
or something along those lines.

zzz.. time flies. We're old...
haixxx... i know one day we'll not b able to meet up as 4 anymore & tt day is coming real soon( aft memy leaves for canada, qiao go army, bei....will u abandon me too?:[ )....
BUT, for now, i just wish not to think of it ba!~
=(

friends forever~~~!!!
whhheeeeeeeeeeeee the four of us~!

ok. im officially crazzzaaayyyyy~

P.S. BEII!!!! LET's GO EAT LUNCH SOON!!!

P.P.S SHEN! sorry nvr ask u this yr but only my mum is at home to prepare for too many ppl. HOPE U not pissed w ur baobei*pukes*. i treat u to 60cents icecream soon ok~~!

2009-12-31T01:08:00.003+08:00

Heyy~
I'm so tired. Lols

wow. It's been the first time I actually felt a terrbile need to attend to my growlIng stomach.
At first I just drank some water but it actually hurts more so I ate the leftover rice and cabbage for supper lols

rice&cabbage had nvr tasted so good man~~~
hahaha

&after supper, being a filial child(lols) I washed my clothes, hung them &swept the floor!!:) crap now super tired.
haha~ mummy will be so touched & love me even more
(lols. The cow's style is so catchy).

anyway I think I'm losing track of time due to work.
Woohoooo~ a new year is approaching!!
I know tmr I most probably won't have the time to blog so I shall wish everyone now an early happy new year 2010!!!
may all of u be as healthy & stay happy always:))
and hope that all ur wishes come true in 2010 for I know it will be a better yeAr than 2009.
Things always gets better and better right?:)

okayyy~ haha many funny hinge happened at work again
and the red chipmunk uncle feed me w dessert toppings during cleanup hahaha
hopefully freakyflower doesn't read blogs.
XP

haix

I shall go think abt my new year resolution and post it someday soon:)))
gd night y'all!:)
full shift tmr! Die! Lols!

2009-12-30T00:56:00.004+08:00

I'm confused:(
lols. Don't mind staying since I'm not in need of cash & they are desperately in need of ppl:/

but. I want a more stable job leh.
& I don't really like the idea of facing freakyflower constantly(though I'm getting used to it._.)

haix. Stupid.
Doesn't bluetrain knows how sian it is to see flower daily.
Tsk.
& he said he treat me like how he treats his real sis.
Yea right. As though he allow flower to bully his sis. Lol

aghhh... Yawn~~~~~~~

haha and literally yawn cuz I'm feeling sleepy.
Gdnight everyone:))
in order to have more life(HAHAHA!)
yawn n I are going out tmr before my shift:)

freaky flower is not there tmr again!!
Wheee~
heaven~~~ haha although it feels a little weird w/o her around..
Zzzz

anyway~~ I've lost weight!! From working!!
hahahah happeyyy~~~
and guess what, xs can really draw very well lehh
lol.. She became super nice to
me after I gave her the card I made and we are all talking in art terms.
So cool~~ LoVE art!!!!!! Love oil/acrylic!!! LoVE watercolor!!! Love pencil!!!!!!!
Ahhh and I need new brushes desperately~
anyone needs idea for my bday presents?
Feel free to consult mi!!!!

Lols.

My card(the butterfly is a cartoon from iPhone apps)

2009-12-28T23:48:00.005+08:00

Today, I spilt a little bit of soup on my hand when serving.(lol. I was tempted to write FML)
Luckily, it just landed on my hand and not the maid sitting there.

Digressing, I think families who bring their maid out and treat them to nice food are nice families.
Lols~~

Anyway~~ right after I spilt it on my hand, the maid saw and started wiping it off my hand. T.T so touched.
Then she asked if I was alright etc. I was still serving the last dish la so I said yes and continued putting down the dishes.
Lols. And then, the mum of the family asked if I was okay. Cuz the maid told her the soup was hot.
It's hot for ordinary ppl la. But I've seen worse lol!!!

But what I want to say is tt: I was really touched by what they said:)
such a nice family.

Lols.

Random post.

Anyway~~~ looking forward to sleepover w twin on 7th Jan!!:)))))) wheeee~
hahahaha tmr bluetrain is back and flower won't be here!!
Happy happy...

Going to make farewell card for XS Liao~~
and wait for my hair to dry too. Zzzzz

photo of today:(dunno why the word change orientation lehh)

2009-12-27T23:53:00.004+08:00

Was going to post this last night but talked on the phone till 2am with yawn.
So shall write this today n now before going out later:)
wheee~ going to bring my bro to astons w twin!!!
Had promised him to bring him there since duno when liaos.

Anywayssss what I really want to blog abt is work!! Hahaha so many things happened Lol.

Well,I couldn't say that this work experience has made me grow up a lot or not.
It's not exactly left for me to judge.
But I believe there's a lesson or two to be learnt and these lessons,I believe, apply to anyone n everyone in their lives.

Humility, I've come to realise, is one of the key to Humanity.
Lols. Put it this way, I have always 无视 waitresses n waiters in restaurants.
Eh, but how many of u actually take notice of those ppl unless one of them is a really shuai/chio one?
XD
Only till this day have I found a new sense of respect to all the people of the working world including the service industry.
&i naively thought tt waiters just carry plates n take orders.
Even carrying hot n heavy soup bowls are not easy.
And taking orders proves to be a challenge to any first timers too!
So pls do not feel superior just because u can afford to dine in some expensive restaurant(which depends in my case).
I hate tt customer who act like he is the king or queen. He sounded like an ah BEng la.
Tsk.

besides this, one must have humility in the pursuit of aquiring new skills or knowledge. One must also have perserverence.
When freakyflower first scolded me on the first day of work, I was pissed but I knew if I really want to know how it is like in the 'real world' I have to ren.
Lols! When I complain to my mum in the car(which I do everyday when she drives me home), she would ask me to talk back to her or just threaten to quit. I didn't la, because I Mei Zhong & because I know u can't just Yi lai ur parents when u've stepped into the society. U can't just quit after u get scolded. Just because u r not in need to cash desperately, I believe it's an attitude towords ur job ba...lols!
Though sometimes I don't 乐业, I do try to 敬业all h
the timeXDDD

the other lesson I've sort of learnt( but more like strengtening my belief) is about the idea of servant leadership.
Yes I'm talking about freaking flower who scolds n doesn't do.
Lols. On the other hand I keep seeing bluetrain doing eveything, from helping me to clean the dirty things on the kitchenfloor w his barehands to helping out in mopping at night. Tsk to f.flower.

Example: the diff reactions when both of them happened to watch mr serving the hot soup.

F.flower: eh! How u carry this one?? U know how to carry a not? Huh?! Nobody teach u issit?*and so on*

bluetrain: (I srsly thought he was going to scold me) is it very 烫？ Must be very hot right? I saw ur whole hand piak onto the bowl. U should carry it like this*does a example*.

Tsk to f.flower.
But oh wells, I've come to realise tt u do need a person like f.flower ard no matter how much u detest it/her. It makes u working w super effieciency n u r always on u toes.
But still, I'm glad she's not the head supervisor hahahahah

Oh man... Just rmbed tt bluetrain is not here today!!!!
:( DIE!!!!!!

2009-12-27T01:23:00.006+08:00

Once again blogging n loading pictures from my iPhone!!

Haha luckily this poster's measurements are alright unlike the previous XMas one.
Haish. Oh well, can upload can Liao lah:)))

Wooohooo~ Just reached home!!!!
watched avatar w matt n bei @bei's house just now:))

it's really not bad:)
the effects and animation and concept are just so cool~
the Navis are so cool too!!
They all have this USB like tail that allows them to connect with any creature around n share 'Brain data'..
Although their animals are freaking ugly, the plants are so beautiful!!!

Haish, they really made the army guys sounds like jugheads sia.
Lols.
Heh n thanks memy for the keychainXDDD
cya all on 1st Jan:)))
(and maybe bei on 31st dec!)

haha
got work tmr:)
hopefully bluetrain is not there tmr so I can tell freakyflower abt quiting.
Haish. Really don't Know how to say zzz... Well, pray tt freakyflower won't eat me up lols

Lalala~
had a meaningful talk w the adults today. Lol.
Even though my mum may disapprove of what I think(unlike the other parents)
I know she had my best interests in mind and wants the best for me.

Yawn's mum said their generation of people worked for $$$
our generation worked for our dreams. I pray tt mine won't be an empty one.

Happy weekends y'all!!!!:)))

2009-12-26T03:06:00.006+08:00

lols
okay this is (again) not a very "right" time for me to appear online
but i was just trying to watch a bit of Absolute boyfriend on the internet.
saw the trailers on youtube and on channel U.. ughhh another cui1 lei4 xi4...

however, sadly the com was super lag just now
so i went to watch A.I.(Artificial Intelligence) on funshion(which is faster at times)

ya..somehow Absolute Boyfriend reminds me of A.I.
HAISh... i shouldnt have rewatched it.
cried like a mad woman once again.

i guess its just impossible not to cry while watching this movie right?
Steven SPielberge is a genius.. and a sadistic one too. LOLS.
"the movie reaches into the most tender part of your heart and give it a good pinch"-says one of the commentators.

i totally agreed.
to those who have not watched this, u hvae no idea how my eyes hurt now.lols

ahhh.. david... those eyes... T.T
why did he(the actor) grew up to become...uhmm..u know what i mean.

hohoho, i just realised the Joe in A.I. is Jude Law.
LOL.

great. now my eyes are swollen---loser.
there really isnt a way u can watch this movie without wetting your eyes, whether u r a human or robot.. right?

lols.
gd night.